I was born into a loud, cacophonous life. Five older sisters in a small ranch house and none of them were blessed with well-modulated voices. There were only two voice settings in our house—loud and louder.
I was also born a reader. My father liked to joke that I had emerged from the womb, book in hand, scowling because the doctor had interrupted my quest to finish a novel.
The contrast between my loud environs and the retreat from the world that reading provides is no coincidence.
Reading is one of the few things that has stuck in all these long decades of my life. As a child, I read in the car, at the dinner table, at school, on the bus, outdoors, indoors, into the wee hours of the morning, rain or shine. I ignored my father’s pleas to “get your nose out of that book and go play outside.” I ignored more dinner conversations than I can remember. I knew my way around my local library as well as I did around my own house.
Is reading “a way to leave without really leaving” as author Charlotte McConaghy wrote? If so, I guess I’ve always been physically present. Emotionally and mentally? Maybe not so much.
It’s not that I don’t love who I love. It’s that I’m an old soul who was thirsting for knowledge those physically closest to me have rarely provided. Without realizing what I was doing, I was creating my own Algonquin Round Table from an early age. I needed Dr. Wayne Dyer’s wise words about how to assert myself. I needed Leo Buscaglia’s gentle voice on love because that was a topic my mother wasn’t very well-schooled in. I craved the music I hear in the words when I read Maggie O’Farrell or Markus Zusak. I wanted to know about love and grief and bravery and disappointment and joy and hope.
It’s a wonderful innate desire, even if the world doesn’t recognize it as such. It would have been so much easier to have been born with a natural talent for golf. The world applauds a good golfer, someone who practices hour after hour to excel at difficult drives or long putts. Not so much a good reader. There are no Olympic competitions for reading. No one asks on a conference call how far you’ve come in your latest novel and then listens, awestruck, as you tell them. You finished a book a week this month? Applause, applause. That’s an awesome effort. You should go on the pro-am tour. Really. Not many people have your reading prowess. Silly, right?
Maybe it’s in the genes. My youngest loves a good book. And I have to believe that a good part of his smarts comes from him having his nose in a book throughout his formative years.
My love of the written word translated, eventually, into a talent for writing it. I enjoy little as much as I relish having words come through me and onto a page, even if now it’s generally a virtual one.
This is my first blog entry in months—a rare long break for me. But I respect my craft—and my life—enough to know that writers have to respect the ebb and flow of their lives, and with that, their writing. I am less willing of late to live out loud, less willing to want to share it all for anyone to read and comment and take measure. Writing hasn’t really changed but I have. And the world has.
And it’s all fine, really.
Sometimes, you have to get really quiet. You have to read less and live more. Write less and experience more. Sometimes, even if you were born with a book in hand, you need respite from all things letter-related so they continue to feel like a delight rather than serious business.
So I’m still here, folks. Happy at the moment. And I’ll still write. It may be less often than before—for now—but I’ll never completely walk away from it. I think I’m allowing a bit of fallow ground because something percolates underneath it all.
I can’t wait to see what it is.
candidkay 
I think it doesn’t really matter how long one stays away from writing or even reading. i think either of the two activities will always have one back eagerly. 🙂
And likely not just have one back, but entice one back😀!
I’m your sister in spending my childhood reading….and I recently unearthed a delightfully terrible “book” I wrote at nine during a sabbatical year in France. I did at least have much better penmanship then.
I am impressed that you were taking sabbatical‘s at age 9 :-). Do tell. I am sure there is a story there. And aren’t terrible books the way we all begin?
When theoretical physicists take sabbaticals, let’s just say their children tend to end up free-range on the streets and subways of Paris….
Ahhhh, and now it becomes clear. 😀
Ebb and flow…. it’s so apt. .. And without reading , who would I have become? I often wonder that.. a different version of me that’s for sure! Good to hear from you again.
Oh, now there’s a question! Who we would be without all the wisdom we soaked up from reading. I think I’ll glad we don’t know!
Glad you’re still here. Glad you’re happy! Always a treat for me when I see you’ve posted 😊
Thank you! 😊
I almost always read biographies of musicians and songwriters. Just read a biography of The Beatles called THE LOVE YOU MAKE, for example. And now I’ve started on a biography of Frank Sinatra…
Why does that not surprise me?😉 Musical personalities—of course!
It’s good to see you Kristine, I think many of us are feeling that need to step away a bit more. I’m like you in terms of voracious reading, but yes, there are times when I can’t settle to a book and have to do something else instead.
I wonder why more of us are feeling this way. You’re good about spaces when you need them! I’m sure it helps your writing stay strong.
Christine, it’s great to see your words, again, especially the big words (I steal them for my own use when I run out). Like you, I’ve enjoyed reading but I’m slow at it. Writing is a great outlet. Golf, I loved it, too. But reading other bloggers’ posts is a special pleasure. Looking forward to your next one.
Steal away, Steve😉. Plenty more where those came from. And thank you for the kind comments!
Yay, welcome back Kristine. Fortunately writing is a hobby which lends itself to down time, during which one absorbs new experiences, and maybe alters perspectives. And reading good books is never time wasted.
Right? And I might even argue that writing is something that requires you to have a new experiences. Or maybe it doesn’t. Maybe all it takes is a really active imagination.
I hear you. Reading is one of my few remaining pleasures. Now that I’m facing full retirement, I’ll need to cut back on expenses. My husband suggested maybe I could stop buying so many books. Say what? Needless to say, he did not have an easy evening with me after saying that. I said I could start going to the library again, and he didn’t like that because, hey, other people carry various diseases I could bring home. So it will continue to be books from Amazon, with the cost built into the monthly budget. Most likely, that cost will be offset by the fact that I will no longer need much gas for the car, lunches for work, or money for work clothes. Wish me luck.
Oh, I’m so glad that it’s still a pleasure for you. I remember my mother having difficulty in her later years being able to read the way she wants did because of macular degeneration. And I just thought it was so sad because reading was such a joy for her. I hope you continue with it for years and only enjoy it more as each year passes :-).
Ah, books. You sound very much like me for being a lifelong reader. I recently read that we have added protection from dementia because of it. Makes sense!
If that’s the case, then we are well insured against it!
Welcome back. I understand your need to get away from writing, from feeling any sense of obligation to share your life with other people. I take blogging breaks when the words don’t flow and I feel like doing my own thing without the self-imposed need to take mental notes of all that I’m thinking and feeling. It’s the pause that refreshes, to use an old Coke slogan.
Oh my goodness! I had completely forgotten about that slogan but you’re right :-). And thank you for the words of support. Sometimes people don’t understand when you just need to step away for a while. Sometimes the wisdom is in the living versus trying to always write about the wisdom gleaned from living :-). One can’t come without the other!
Hello there. What are a few of the best books you’ve read? Here are a few of my favorites: The Sea Around Us, by Rachel Carson. Sophie’s Choice, by William Styron. The Grapes Of Wrath, by John Steinbeck.
Ooh, I love this game. The Book Thief, by Marcus Zusak. Zen and the Art of Making a Living, by Laurence G. Boldt. Peace Like a River by Leif Enger.
We are lucky ones, Kay, those of us born with the yearn for others’ words to enter our lives through our eyes and our words to exit through our minds and fingers. Good for you to notice the times when you need to nourish the soul with some me time! I have a feeling the increasing volume and clatter around us all of late has something to do with that. I’m glad to see you here and in the comments on my blog this morning. Thank you. Your words make my day better whenever I encounter them.
Aw, thank you, Mark! Yes, it seems as if life is on fast forward constantly. The amount that comes at us through digital communications has really increased. I’m not sure we are wired for the volume.
Welcome back Kristine. Love these reflections on your life growing up, reading and slowing down. It’s so important to step back, breathe and view life from a different perspective. The wisdom I’ve earned over the years has often be seen in those dark quiet moments alone. May we all create time for them and our needs. 💕🧡
Yes! It’s the stepping back and the time away and the just living life. Allowing time for new adventures as well as some fallow time.
Like you Kristine I think I was born with my nose in a book. As a little girl it was always the ultimate pleasure/gift/escape/means for me to enter other worlds. And it remains the same as an adult. And I get what you mean about the ebbs and flows, sometimes the writing slows down and the reading ramps up, and vice verse and it’s all ok. Enjoy it all. Great post!
It’s an amazing escape, right? And if we can accept the ebbs and flows, one that feeds our soul.
Kristine, I love this post so much. I wasn’t born with a book in my hand, but I can so relate to your need for space from the written word. Life is different now, and all the things that I once thought were important just aren’t anymore. It’s like I’m a whole new me. My only pursuit is peace and happiness, whether from writing or binging the new season of The Righteous Gemstones. I put no pressure on myself and simply do whatever feels right for my soul. I can so relate to what you said. However, it is always a treat to read what you write, so I’m glad you found the words and shared this one with us. I’m glad to hear that you are happy and well. You deserve that. Lots of love. xo
Aw, it’s good to hear from you! And I’m glad you’re being good to yourself. Not only because it’s just what we all should do but also because I know you went through some hard times and you deserve a break :-). I’m so glad to hear that you are living in peace and happiness. It’s the only place to be.
Welcome back. Yes, sometimes we need to take time and simply live life.
Amen to that:).
Lovely to find you in my inbox, Kristine! And boy do I get it. I needed to step away myself and am still sporadic at best. I felt I had let my reading go so that has picked up in lieu of writing. Balance. It’s a work in never-ending progress!
Why does it not surprise me that you get it, Dale?😊 Of course you do! I also feel like I have not really been reading this year like I normally would. Sitting for work during the day means I don’t want to also be sitting at night. Trying to move my body more day and night :-). But I am reading again and loving it. It really does feed my soul.
Of course! 😉 Honestly. I gave myself the challenge of reading 24 books. I’ve read 8. How pathetic is that? Moving the body is important, that is for sure. I’m getting treatment for an eons-old foot injury so my exercises are limited to the ones given to me by the podiatrist. Hopefully I can be fixed!
Reading is sooooo nice. It feels like special me-time 🙂
I’m with you on the reading that. I said I would read 30 bucks and I’ve read six :-(. Not enough hours in the day!
Each year, I aim for 24. Each year, I come short… sigh. This working thing really gets in the way of quality time 😉
Your listening to your heart Kristine, a greater book you will not find kind lady. Her ability to ‘feel’ it all, those adventures on paper or subway, out in nature or buried in an office. It is all yours and what you take from your story. And you are right, something is percolating under it all, something is growing into a beauty like no other. You.
And a break is even better, so that when you return to your words they are appreciated all the more…or maybe telling you more adventure is required so you can. I’ve slowed a little but only because Spirit wants me to digest life a little more, see what is truly under it all and understand that we give from that love whatever we do.
Beautifully written dear lady, ever a soul expressing in a way as only your love can do. Original and uplifting, open and free. I always enjoy your way of ‘love’ it is ever given here from what you have found. And you ever look at it beautifully, many chapters to share but never just a summary. Too unfeeling in that, needing to express just as your heart does.
Thank you for ‘your’ share kind lady, may your soul never miss a word or the rhythm of life’s pen stroke 😀❤️🙏
Oh, Mark, such kind words so beautifully put❤️. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart for being such a loyal reader and thoughtful commenter. You always add something beautiful to the mix! Digest, move slowly, savor. You’ve earned it!
Enjoyed your piece, Kristine. What a gift a good book is and being an avid reader growing up. Thanks for sharing.🙂
Thank you, Jane! I bet you’re still an avid reader. 😉
It is a natural process, so no problem waiting for the inspiration. Look forward to the harvest!
Thank you, Kevin! And welcome:). I love that it’s a natural process as much as I get impatient with it! But I do realize sometimes you have to stop, do nothing, and let everything settle.
Kristine, if I had/have to stop blogging for a few months to be able to reflect deeply on who I am and then to express my reflections so beautifully, it would be worth it. This post was/is a pleasure to read. Thank you.
Thank you, Jane😊. Kind words! I’ve missed this crew, though.
I read and I write so I know your feelings about both, Christine. Good to see you posting.
Thanks, John! Saving graces whether the world is calm or crazy, right?
Exactly. 😊
I, too, was/am a voracious reader. Glad to know that you are percolating something and will write as (or if) the spirit moves you during this fallow time…
Good to hear from you, Will! So, let me know what your reading voracity has brought you this summer:). Always on the lookout for the latest good titles.