Another day, another sayonara to my ego

Ego. Ugh. I despise that word. In many circles, it means the bit of you that gets too big for its britches. The one that boasts, brags or feels entitled. And don’t tell me you don’t have that bit. We all do. We all make asses of ourselves occasionally. Even you, my angel. Ego is…

Looking for kismet? It’s in my filing cabinet.

It is amazing how long it can take to clear out the remnants of a former life. It is more remarkable that you find you are clearing out remnants of your former self. As you clear out physical items you no longer need, you realize you have also cleared out pieces of yourself that are…

Only the sweet remains

I have a few favorite men in my life. One of them has only been on this earth for a little over a decade. Another passed from this earth after more than eight decades. Turns out, we honored the passing of the latter on the same day the former turned the ripe old age of…

Exchange in a coffee shop

There was no avoiding her, in my mind. She was right there, center stage in my line of vision, put in my path for a reason. Last night, a friend and I had dinner, then stopped by a local coffee shop. As she went to the counter to get fixings for her coffee, I came…

Being saved from my crazy self

Jesus, I love it when I am saved from myself. Talk about grace. I am having a perfect Sunday morning. I know you know what those feel like. Aretha and I singing “Baby I Love You” at the top of our lungs while I cook my son and his buddy breakfast. Etta James joined in…

Running to stillness

When the world looms too close and I forget that I am in it but not of it, there is a quiet place in my memory bank that I run to as fast as I can. The youngest of six daughters, I was raised Roman Catholic. Twelve years in Catholic schools. Countless masses, ceremonies, candle…

Coming full circle at Christmas

We had come full circle in the space of two years. There we were, on the couch. I was giving a hug filled with love. It was gratefully accepted. And before you get too excited, my dog was the grateful recipient. Bailey. My faithful companion. My shadow. The one who has perfected the art of…

That something inside

“I may not know how to do this but something inside me does.” What a mantra. For those of us who were raised with a critical parent, a voice of self doubt, the first to desert ourselves when the screaming meanies of the world attack, as they are wont to do. I was raised to…

Look at what we made

I rarely write to you. I know you don’t read my blog anyway, just like you never read my newspaper articles. That’s ok. I’ve come to terms with that. And in a way, I can only write this because I know you won’t read it. Yet, you’re the only one who could truly appreciate what…

Resurfacing

Going through rough times in life is akin to deep sea diving. For much of your daily life, there you are, happily bobbing on the surface. You’re soaking in the sunshine and enjoying the ride in your trusty boat. You may be on the lookout for sharks and such, but you’re in your sturdy, protected…

Big dreams in a tiny house

I sat on a small couch in a tiny house, looking out the window. I smiled as I dreamed of the future. I talked to God. “This is our house. I know it’s only the fifth or sixth house we’ve looked at but it feels like home. If You can just see fit to put…

As I watch

I’m watching, Mom. I’m watching your grandbabies get married. Not my kids, of course, but the older ones. Your other children’s children. I feel your presence at these weddings, almost physically. I see the joy in these faces and I know yours would at least match it, if not outshine it. Because nothing made you…