For what it’s worth

My friend and I were out to dinner with my sister on Christmas Eve. My sister had asked about how dating was going after divorce. My friend answered: “Kristine and I are just trying to find men worthy of us.” At the time, I thought it a rather high-handed way to describe what we were…

I am not those other girls

I am not those other girls. You know. The ones that believe every story and think the sun rises and sets on your every word. The ones that don’t quite match you in gray matter. The ones that make your brow furrow and your eyes trail off into the distance as you realize they cannot…

Go ahead. Burn a dinner.

“Man, those days are long gone for me.” So said a friend as I finished telling her of a recent date. As she said it, her mouth tightened and she let out a sigh. “Sad, isn’t it?” Yes, honey. It is. Why is it that women give up the notion of romance at a certain…

Man a lifeboat

One day you finally knew  what you had to do, and began,  though the voices around you  kept shouting  their bad advice –  though the whole house  began to tremble  and you felt the old tug  at your ankles.  “Mend my life!”  each voice cried.  But you didn’t stop.  You knew what you had to…

Espresso, anyone?

I recently asked two male friends for an honest opinion. “Am I going to scare men–do I scare men away–because I am a strong woman? Am I really that different from the other women you know?” I asked from the heart. I truly wanted to know. Not that I feel I can greatly alter who…

Present in the present

I see the pain in my son’s face over the pain he has caused someone else. He wishes he could take what he has said and done back, but instead he covers his regret with bravado. And me? I try very hard not to go old-school on him and lecture. Because some things cannot be…

Such a welcome

A woman I’ve never met walks by my house each and every day. This in and of itself is not extraordinary. But her constancy is. Every day, at the same time, she walks, backpack on her back. Both straps fastened, limping. Hat and sunglasses on, even on cloudy days. In the summer, she walks with…

Just keep swimming

She missed moving water. She missed seeing the stars in the night sky, the others swimming alongside her. She missed the rhythm of her days. It had begun in such promising fashion. She saw the lure, shiny and sparkling in the sun. She took it. And that is when the glass walls around her went…

When the Universe comes calling on your wedding night

Voluminous white dress? Check. Matching satin shoes? Righto. A gaggle of out-of-town family members, copious food and drink, and the right tunes? Yessiree. We almost got the recipe right for the “perfect” wedding. Except I found myself on said perfect wedding night, round about midnight, standing in a hotel hallway, alone. With my aunt and…

Fallen idols

When the student is ready, the teacher appears. And when the lesson is over, be it days or years, that’s usually when the scenery changes, for me. I have a steady cast of characters in my life—my family and very close friends. But I also have an ever-changing ensemble. I like to think of these…

Gal pals

They get me. That in itself is amazing. They get quirky ‘ole me. And they show up. Not always, not in every way I hope for, but I can be a bit unreasonable that way, truth be told. Girlfriends who show up are worth more than all the tea in China. And that folksy saying…

Matchmakers United

I have yentas in my posse. That sounds a bit obscene, doesn’t it? Really, it just means I have many people in my circle who want to have a say, offer advice, be heard. So many times, I consider it a blessing. As I’ve begun dating after my divorce, however, it also provides humor (and…