A barn burner

We absorb what our parents show us, deep in our cells, unknowingly. Even as we fight, as teens, to be anything but them, their love seeps into our bones—the very marrow–changing us. Some of those changes appear as is, others are stored for future us, tempered in our cells with time. It must be hard…

Hearts breaking

I look up to you as you stand, not quite a head taller than I am. You, with your hairy legs, deep voice and man feet. I held you when you split your chin open because your tiny, chubby toddler legs couldn’t keep up with your quick mind. You are adamant that you go to…

Fashioning a self-made man

I know. You can’t fashion a self-made man. That’s the point of the self-making bit; he makes himself. But, when that man is your son, you like to think you had a hand in the process. I’m at an age where I have a teen, as do many of my friends. As I watch the…

Lessons I did not mean to learn

So much of what I have learned in life was unwitting. As a parent, this realization fills me with a strange combination of relief and chagrin. Because I can’t seem to stop talking. The teachable moments come fast and furious sometimes. I have so much hard-earned wisdom to impart about honesty, integrity, love (it’s a…

When push comes to shove

I missed the memo. Surely. The one that spells out, in detail, what being a “good” mother is. Specifically, I missed section 4, clause 28b, which states: “Push your child to excel. Push for constant busyness, excellent grades, a multitude of extracurricular activities. And it is not enough for those three conditions to simply be…