The perils of pants shopping

It appeared to be an easy mission. All I wanted was a pair of pants. My friend Meg came along for the ride, to provide moral support on what could only be termed a “fat day” for me. If you are a woman, you will know what I mean. For you uninitiated men out there,…

Get out of my freakin’ way

That means you. Yes, you. And by you, I mean me. I’m talking to myself. Not my whole self, just the whiny, mewling bit that has rigid ideas about its future. What she’s planned. What she’s worked for. What she deserves—with a capital D. I’m betting you have this alter ego also. You know, the…

Can a bauble get you through a tough week? Sure. Shamelessly.

I’ve never been a believer in talismans. You can keep your rabbit’s foot and lucky penny. I shake my head when a pro baseball player feels compelled to perform rituals before he bats. Does the tap to the forehead and scratch of the nose really play into his homerun stats? Doubtful. But I get what…

Brave enough to break

The determination in her face was obvious. “I will bend, but I will not break,” she said. And with that, she burst into tears. As I hugged her, I said, “It’s ok. You can break. In fact, I think you need to.” She looked at me in disbelief. “You never broke. Look at you. You’re…

Gains and losses

I don’t often indulge in regrets. I try to live in the here and now because looking too far backward or forward wastes time and changes little. The further you get from a finalized divorce agreement, the happier you are supposed to be. I am. Happier than I was. Relieved. And yet, still disappointed and…

Grief is a funny thing. Except it isn’t.

You can go for days, weeks, months with no episodes. You are back to life as usual, feeling like you did the hard work to adjust to your new normal. Usually this new normal is a rearranged normal, a normal that for a time at least, is meant to cover a gaping hole in your…

Shaddup, shaddup, shaddup

We are a society of motormouths. Yes. Us. And by us, I mean us ugly Americans. There is a reason we got that unattractive nickname overseas. And we continue to display it with alarming regularity. We’re not always dissing another culture, though. Many times, we’re unwittingly dissing the person sitting right next to us. We….

Worth the crystal

There’s a little voice that whispers in my ear now and then. I like to think it’s my deceased parents, banding together to clue me in on things they wish they would have known when they were alive. If you’re still reading and haven’t labeled me a paranoid schizophrenic for hearing voices in my head,…

Battle of the underwear: Janine/Barbie vs. Everywoman

As we waited in line for coffee, reactions ranged from deadpan to deadly saccharine sweet as we watched the perfectly coiffed young mother, with baby on hip, swing her perfect ponytail and walk out in what looked like the latest from Henri Bendel’s store windows. “How does she do it?” one mother asked. “I felt lucky I…

Christmas by Cody

His name is Cody. And he schooled me today. Boy, did he ever. I walked into Best Buy a gaming system virgin. Yes, folks, embarrassing to admit this at my advanced age, but it’s true and I’m not ashamed to say it. I walked out more worldly. And it only took 25 minutes. There I…

Come on baby, light my fire

My head is in the fireplace. Literally.  IN the fireplace. And I’m thinking maybe I’m just the teensiest bit out of my element here. Not only is my head in the fireplace, I am swearing under my breath. Furiously. Yes. Much swearing. It was a good idea in theory. Get the Christmas spirit going in…