My rebelling mind goes to Tahiti

Tahiti (Photo credit: Robbi Baba)

Sometimes, in a week when I’ve had many “major” decisions to make, my mind takes a vacation. As if rebelling against being stereotyped as a heavy lifter.

Yours, too? So I’m not alone?

Beautiful. Join me in a resolution—no heavy thoughts this weekend. Join my mind in Tahiti. Here’s the drivel mine went to this week. Just fluff like:

Is my mailman dyslexic? Or does he purposely deliver my neighbors’ mail to me to encourage us to talk more? Is he trying to moonlight as a matchmaker? If so, which person is he trying to fix me up with? They’re all either married or quite old. Maybe I should remind him of that.

Is there a program for mothers of adolescents that allows us to live in a yurt for days on end until our children stop a) smelling, b) being impudent and c) testing their limits in oh so many scary ways? We could all huddle together around the campfire and listen to old Grateful Dead songs while we hold hands and zone out. Or, better yet, maybe Canyon Ranch Spa will get smart and create a relaxation and wellness program just the length of our children’s adolescence.

Does the woman with the waist-length hair at my gym really think she is recreating Baywatch beach rescue scenes on the treadmill? She “runs” (more of a slow-motion jog, really) with a large fan positioned so it blows her hair behind her at just the right angle. And if someone walked by her from behind, would they get hair-smacked? Is that equivalent to being bitch-slapped? Would it cause a catfight? And wouldn’t she be at a distinct disadvantage because she has all that hair to pull?

Do growing male humans carry the same marking gene dogs do? I only ask because it seems they must pee and forget to flush in every single toilet of the house. And sometimes on the floor. Are they just trying to mark their territory? If so, is it considered child abuse if I just get them doggie piddle pads and retrain them?

Does everyone’s nose itch when they meditate? And is this the worst part of us trying to keep the best part of us from inching ahead? If so, why always the nose? Wouldn’t an itchy foot work just as well?

And most importantly, what does the fox REALLY say? Is it ring-ding-ding or wa-pa-pa?

That last one alone will keep your mind in Tahiti for at least the weekend.




12 Comments Add yours

  1. My daughter sings that song over and over. Why oh why are songs like this popular?!?!?

  2. andmorefood says:

    I love that part aboutthe woman at tthe gym. add skimpy clothing to that scene and that makes one of the most irritating things in the gym !

  3. I had to laugh out loud about the piddle pads. My son always forgets to flush the toilet after he’s peed. And worse, every day as he’s running out the door to the school bus he takes two steps off the porch, turns and pees right into my periwinkle ground cover. There is now a big dead patch. I’m tempted to put a big metal grate on the ground and electrify it, so when he pees he gets shocked. I’ll happily join you in Tahiti!

    1. candidkay says:

      Oh, you’ve bested me on the marking gene then! LOL.

  4. Well, that photo alone (and some distant memory) was nough to make me want to be in Tahiti, but I get your drift. Doing my best o just avoid thinking about deadlines and HAVE a weekend.

    1. candidkay says:

      I hope you succeeded. But I’m thinking deadlines in Tahiti don’t seem as bad as in Chicago in late October:)

  5. Sue McLaren says:

    Another winner! Meditative itches are, for me, usually associated with dryer skin during cold weather. Except for meditation, I don’t have time for the itches, so they niggle their way in when they can. Tahiti! Part of my family wants Hawaii, I want the Caribbean, but Tahiti is a great destination. Lots of smiles here. Well done.

    1. candidkay says:

      Meditative itches for me, I think, are the bane of my existence! I swear I’ve psyched myself out:)

  6. lserf13 says:

    Lol I love this! Not only do I know what a yurt is from watching some design show on television, but I can relate to the marking genes as my three year old son does it every.single.time! My nose itches in meditation too and I’m convinced it’s some sort of test! And I’m not not sure what a fox says…Lol this post cracked me up! Enjoy Tahiti this weekend!

    1. candidkay says:

      I will:) And I hope you do too!

  7. Anne says:

    Thanks for making me smile!

  8. Ann McHugh says:

    That song is so annoying.

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