This time of year, Facebook and Twitter abound with jokes from women about their over-consumption of food—be it Halloween candy or Thanksgiving desserts.
My favorite line with friends is: “Put your hands up and step away from the Almond Joy/pumpkin cheesecake/Twix bar/[fill in your favorite sweet], ma’am.”
But the Universe has played a little trick on me this year. With its own megaphone, emblazoned with my initials (hopefully not in something tacky like gold lamé, but rather in something tasteful like brushed suede), it is shouting this message into my very heart: “Step away from the [fill in the blank], ma’am.”
Step away from the everything, Ms. Candidkay, it seems to be saying. I’ve got this. Go take a bubble bath. Read a good book. Clean a closet. And leave it be.
Anyone else out there a planner? A bit of a control freak when it comes to stability and security?
Yeah, I’m so sorry about that. They should have a 12-step program for people like us.
The funny thing is—I never was much of a planner. Until I had to be. Raising two kids and being the breadwinner does that to you.
And once the security and stability bug took hold, I decided I’d better be on it. Whatever “it” was—my career, financial planning, home maintenance—you name it.
I’ve said it before here and it bears repeating: Someone far wiser than me is in charge.
Sometimes I just need to step away. Because in doing so, I halt myself getting in my own way.
Today, I was noodling far too much on far too many problems I’ve shown myself incapable of solving in the short term. But my brain was on fast forward.
At lunchtime, I waved the white flag and took the dog for a walk at a horse farm. Other than having to apologize to a few terrified joggers for her ferocious demeanor (really, why DO they come up behind us so quietly?), it was a lovely timeout for me and my little ‘ole brain.
During this walk, I gave it up. I gave it all up. I admitted to said Universe that I was not up to the task. That despite wracking my brain, I was plum out of solutions. That I knew acceptance and some moodling time were necessary. I asked why I couldn’t be like those women who just wait to be rescued, sipping red wine, working out, blissfully throwing up their hands and saying they can’t control the outcome so why try? (Truthfully, those women drive me nuts. But in that moment, it sounded so much better than my worry-wracked self.)
As I pulled out of the parking lot, my phone rang. It was phenomenal news, news that completely changed the face of one of the situations I was preoccupied with this morning.
Wow, Universe. You don’t mess around.
I’m not saying it always happens this way. Sometimes I am made to cool my heels and wait. And wait. And wait.
But today, the Universe said, “See? All you had to do was give it over. What took you so long?”
To which I put up my hands, smiled and stepped away.
It felt blessedly good.