Retreat

BaileyShe woke me again this morning with joy, so happy we’re both still here, together and alive.

Her cold, wet, nose sniffing my face. Her head and body trying to burrow into my back and stomach to roll me out of bed.

She does this every morning.

She is a constant in the unconstant of life.

She is unconditional love in the face of the horror of what happened in Paris this weekend. In the pain someone I love causes me. In the ups and downs of jobs, finances, love life, raising kids, she wakes me in the same way. She loves me in the same way.

So forgive me if I just want to curl up in a ball some days and retreat from the world, with Bailey at my feet. Retreat from people who kill indiscriminately. Retreat from those who say they love but hurt me. From the climbers at work. From a world in which my teen, on any given day, has access to substances that could kill him and only my admonitions and his own common sense keep him safe and healthy.

On days like today, I feel the need to circle the wagons really close. Nature is allowed in. So are books, but only those filled with wisdom; no depressing tales allowed. My children, of course. As many bubble baths as it takes.

And Bailey. Because if the world makes any sense, she will be there tomorrow morning again, wet nose at my face, tail wagging, rolling me out of bed.

She defies Paris, those who hurt me and uncertain circumstances.

Sometimes, when the world looms large, I need to make my corner of it very small.

I don’t think retreat is the ultimate solution. But many of us need to get quiet before we fully process what has been laid in front of us.

I’m lucky to have a solid, furry someone with me in the quiet. Who helps me find joy in the midst of sorrow.

 

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33 Comments Add yours

  1. Look at Bailey, did she come and sniff the camera after you took this picture? She must have 🙂

    1. candidkay says:

      She is one curious dog:). In the best possible way!

  2. heyjude6119 says:

    Thank God for Bailey!
    In the midst of darkness created by evil hearts and minds, I like to focus on the positive which in this case is the outpouring of compassion from around the world. Good still triumphs over evil. God is still in control. Hang in there Kay!

    1. candidkay says:

      God is still in control is the thought I hold onto. And if we get still enough, we each know our role in the big picture. Thank you for the comforting words.

  3. Renee says:

    I find it amazing that our pets know when to comfort us. They become not just pets but a part of the family. My children are mostly grown now so my puppy (she’s almost 8 yrs old..lol) has become our just like our child. She senses when one or the other is unhappy and will not leave our side. She is very special just as I’m sure your Bailey is to you. What a beautiful heart.

    1. candidkay says:

      It’s so very true. They have beautiful spirits, don’t they?

      1. Renee says:

        yes, they are there no matter what! Who else can one say that about? I love my furry baby.

  4. mentalbreakinprogress says:

    Great post! Our fury friends are always there for us no matter what! 🙂 I used to have a black lab named Harley and he was the BEST! Animals and I find dogs in particular are therapeutic in so many ways. They love us unconditionally and really set an example us humans should be following lol. Good for you for insisting that the positives in your life surround you, it’s so easy to let the negative take over. Thanks for sharing! Sending good vibes your way 🙂 ❤

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you! I guess I hadn’t thought about it as insisting on the positives surrounding me but what a lovely way to put it:).

      1. mentalbreakinprogress says:

        You’re most welcome! 🙂 Just callin’ it like I see it 😉 ❤

  5. I think we could all use Bailey right now. I understand the feeling of wanting to just burrow under the covers and stay there. Between Paris and various other more personal bad news lately from friends, I find life overwhelming. I think you have the right idea. Stay put as much as you can until the storm passes.

    1. candidkay says:

      When you feel like an open nerve, hunkering down is sometimes the best thing to do. I hope you’re able. I try to mix it with going with friends to places that are easy to be in until I feel myself again.

  6. Thanks for reminding me it’s important to embrace the serene and the warm. We all need that so much.

    1. candidkay says:

      It’s really the base from which we should all go out into the world, I think:).

  7. Love the new theme, by the way! 😉

  8. I loved this post. Nature let in and no depressing tales. Yes. Yes. Yes.

  9. Beautiful, dear Kay. Beautiful.
    I also like the look of your blog.

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you, Cynthia. On both counts!

  10. “Be quiet before we fully process what has been laid in front of us.” Wise words Kay. Love the new look too. 🙂

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you on both counts!

  11. Yes Kay, Baily is unconditional love….if only some of the rest of the world could understand too, and release their fears. Namaste

    1. candidkay says:

      You read my mind, Mark:). Well put.

  12. lisafab says:

    I’ve found myself the past couple of weekends retreating and you explain it so well…it is time I have needed to process what has gone on at work. I also am lucky to have two small critters who give me joy but who are both sick today (kitty threw up 15 times last night and so far dog has thrown up 5 times today). Hopefully, it’s just a 24 hour bug…I also love the new look of your blog…

    1. candidkay says:

      I am so sorry to hear your furry companions aren’t feeling well! Take it easy with them:). Thanks for the kind words on the blog!

  13. cristi says:

    I’m just noticing the new look of your blog…love it!
    And yes, “as many bubble baths as it takes.” I’m right there with you! Today is a perfect day for a retreat. Your Bailey is my Max. Aren’t we lucky? xo

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you re: the new look! I’m still working out the kinks but it was time for a change. And yes, Bailey and Max are lucky, as are we. Not everybody gets one:).

  14. Amy says:

    This post is just the healing balm I needed today… Bless you and Bailey for reminding me of what means the most in life: love. Many hugs to you, my dear and true friend. ❤️

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you, Amy. You are so right–love. This was the year I swore to be open hearted and boy, that is not for ninnies:).

      1. Amy says:

        Your open-heartedness is one of your loveliest qualities. You dare to open your heart, you choose to open it. This is not only brave, it’s beautiful. xo

  15. Cindy Frank says:

    Beautifully written, deeply felt. Our connection with animals not only sustains us but gives us strength. But you knew that!

    1. candidkay says:

      It’s so very true. I’m always stymied by people who don’t understand that connection. Thank you for the kind words and for stopping by my site.

  16. Judy says:

    Your Bailey looks enough like my dog that they could have been sisters. She was my constant reminder that good exists, even when she did things she knew she shouldn’t. She was never malicious. She also reminded me that sometimes I needed to step back from the world. The world that had no trouble tearing me to pieces. She reminded me that it was little things that made up the day, and those little things would make or break the day all depending on how I viewed them. Thanks for bringing back so many lovely memories. I think I’ll curl up with them for a while, savoring the goodness and warmth. Armor to face the spears the world sends my way.

    1. candidkay says:

      Oh, yes. The spears and tearing to pieces bit is a physical hurt even though emotional, right? At least, that’s how I feel it. What makes me creative and sensitive also feels like a curse sometimes. I hope you curl up with those memories and get to refuel today. I’m trying:).

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