I am dating again. No one in particular, just dipping a reluctant toe back in the water rather than watching the group-swim from a lounge chair beside the pool.
My reluctance toward online dating is epic in this blog. Here, if you have any interest in that diatribe. But I’m not in diatribe mode at the moment. Instead, I’m in oh-yes-I-remember-this-is-how-it-feels-to-rip-off-the-bandage mode.
Every magnet has a north and a south pole. Two like poles will repel each other but opposites attract.
Had a wonderful first date with a man I felt such an immediate connection with—that was nice. But then radio silence. That was not. I retreated rather quickly. He is at a crossroads in life. He may be moving to one of a half dozen places far from here. I did not misinterpret the connection. Perhaps I just don’t want to have to figure out the myriad possibilities. Perhaps they don’t matter. Only the end result does. I only want men who know they want to be around me right now.
I once dated a man that launched what became rather predictable fits about how easily I left him. And I don’t mean a final leaving, I mean at the airport. I have always found it easier to be the one leaving than the one left behind, if I’m honest. It’s not that my heart didn’t—in the beginning—wish he or I could stay in one place. It’s that as the relationship went on, he demanded so much that the leaving was sweet relief.
Lining magnets up so that norths face norths, they will push away from each other hard enough to overcome the force of gravity.
This, from a woman who has a hard time finishing any book that I’ve loved because it means a breakup of sorts with something that has fed my soul. I have to remind myself often that the words live inside me after I’ve ingested them. I wonder if the same is true of past relationships.
I was once set loose by a man who was certain he’d found better. Until another man came along and crowned me queen. Suddenly, the first found me better. Far too late. Physically, I was still right in front of him. Emotionally, I was light-years away already. And beginning to claim my own worth.
The force between magnets depends on the separation distance and the flux density (magnetic strength) of the magnets used.
I open the antique silver box atop my dresser to find a small Tiffany’s gift card in my ex-husband’s handwriting: “Thank you for the beautiful gift of life you’ve given us.” We still have that gift of life. He sleeps one bedroom from mine. He snores and talks in his sleep and sometimes his feet hang over the bed. But the second diamond earring given in honor of birthing that life—now that I’ve lost.
Magnetism is very important because we use it to create energy.
It’s all attracting and repelling. Flux density and separation distance.
Except when it’s more.
I’ll wait for the “more” bit.