Scene from a dark restaurant

The problem is, the Jerrys of the world will always find me. Recently, I dragged a friend to a Meetup. For those of you unfamiliar, Meetups are group get-togethers that are coordinated online but happen in real life. There are Meetups for people who like to bike, to eat, to travel. You name it, and…

Russian doll

It would simply have been a passing thought had I not grabbed it by the tail. But I did. And so here I sit, surrounded by beach towels on the floor of my closet. My intention was good—clean out a closet that escaped my Kondo-like spring purge a few months ago. But now the towels…

Midnight moments off the mapped path

I sat bolt upright in bed, the impact of it hitting me—my youngest son and I have five years together if I’m lucky. Two if Fate is feeling fickle and he goes to a high school that requires boarding. My middle-aged self inhaled deeply, trying to calm the shallow breaths that thought created. For those…

Go ahead. Burn a dinner.

“Man, those days are long gone for me.” So said a friend as I finished telling her of a recent date. As she said it, her mouth tightened and she let out a sigh. “Sad, isn’t it?” Yes, honey. It is. Why is it that women give up the notion of romance at a certain…

Happy (hardy har har) Birthday

I celebrated my birthday recently. And the Universe made sure to show me, once again, its sense of humor. I awoke that day with plans for treating myself. Not in the way I used to, with lots of friends and loud celebration. I was going to work the first part of the day and then…

A momentary pause

As I watch many of my friends make college visits with their kids this summer, I realize that culturally, we’re missing a beat here. We send our kids off to college to “find themselves”, which for some means growing their hair and writing beat poetry; for others, drinking out of a keg. Regardless of their…

Do you find me changed?

I saw the look on your face, the one that told me my response to you was oh so inconvenient and not at all what you had planned. It said, without words, “You’ve changed.” Have I? How very observant of you. I understand why you are still expecting the reactions and compliance you used to…

A funny thing happened on my way to a midlife crisis

Midlife crises have a deservedly bad rap. They bring to mind young blondes on the side, racy sports cars, hair plugs and a general lack of grace. Think of the cringe factor while watching American Beauty. Bingo. There you have it. Males get the worst rap, as midlife crises go, because they tend to be…

Get over yourself

I think life is trying to make me a humble warrior. It’s an earned title. A warrior denotes someone who is battle tested, who has shown strength not just once or twice, but over prolonged periods of hardship. Someone who rushes headlong into the fray when necessary, who prefers resolution of some sort to running…

Wear and tear required

I was lying in the bathtub the other night, doing what I’m sure many women do in the bathtub. No—not that. Really? That’s where your mind goes? I was being critical of myself, something many women do—but especially women who have reached their forties and beyond. Bemoaning my abs and glutes not being what they…

The one that got away. Thank God.

Ladies, do you remember the college crush that eluded you? The lead singer in a band, with long hair, a voice that could set hips afire and a faded jean jacket that he wore better than any other gorgeous man on God’s green earth? Not that I have anyone in particular in mind. I’m sure…

Praying for beautiful

I lay in my bed and prayed: “God, please make me beautiful.” Of all the things I could have prayed for, this now strikes me as a sad choice. I was a skinny, bony, pale pre-adolescent. Puberty had already struck half of the girls in my class, while I still looked like a tiny beanpole,…