How many times have we heard it when something tragic or unexpected happens: “But it doesn’t make sense.”
When a small child dies. A good family loses their home after losing a breadwinning job.
Or, on the flip side, when the slacker who surfs most of the day sells his brilliant idea for millions?
One of my resolutions this year is to stop trying to make sense of what happens. Because my small human mind just cannot.
I will not understand most things when looked at from a purely human perspective.
And the universe has no use for my logic.
If I call on my faith, sometimes that works. The small child was meant to come here to open up the hearts and minds of a select group of people. And that happened through this child’s death more effectively than if he or she had lived into octogenarian years. Comforting? No, not really. But does it make sense to me, from a soul perspective? Yes.
You can work hard your whole life and still be laid off at 58, sans a job for your last lucrative years.
You can raise your child with all the right words and actions, and still end up with an adult who hurts and disappoints those he loves.
You can write a book in a weekend that has no business selling millions, but it does. A book about giving up the chance at adventure and love to stay with someone you’ve been with for years, to honor a commitment made. And then in real life run off with your female gardener, 20 years your junior, leaving your wife and high school sweetheart of over 30 years. Robert James Waller of “Bridges of Madison County” fame certainly does not make sense.
A convict can give a woman he has never met his kidney, trying to make amends and change his imprint on this world.
You can lose your dog in a 1,362-square-mile national forest and be reunited five years later.
You can find gold bars in airplane toilets and win a multimillion dollar lottery twice in the same store.
I have stopped trying to use logic to explain these things but am also not so cynical that I buy into random chaos theories. I have to believe there is a divine hand guiding it all. One that sometimes has a wacky sense of humor. One that realizes what feels like a curse is necessary for us to get to our greater blessings, sometimes.
I am infamous among my close friends for telling them life turns on a dime. I say it far too often.
My life did just that a few years ago. Unpleasantly. And yet, from this “wrong” turn have come many blessings. Many new people and experiences for which I am thankful.
And I must honor that if life turns on a dime one way, it can just as easily turn the other. For the better.
I think my job is just to be prepared. To do, to the best of my ability. To live, to the best of my ability. All the rest is just detail. Detail too many of us get mired in on a daily basis.
So, in a week where nothing seems to make sense—when my child’s school is making the creation of a 504 plan akin to brokering peace in the Middle East, and my flu shot seems to have given me a version of the flu—I wave a white flag to the universe.
I know you’re in charge. I know my logic does not apply.
But any time you want to clue me in on yours, I’m listening. With rapt attention.
candidkay 
Perfect! i have a white “post- it” on the end of one of my pencils in the cup on my desk, just to remember. Hope the universe notices small, make-shift white flags.Thx Kay.
Love that! I may have to do the same:).
I absolutely love this. Although I don’t know if I’d call it a lack of logic and a need of faith but more of a faith based on logic. Regardless, this was well written and exactly what I needed to hear.
Blame Descartes! (Cogito, ergo sum.) We forget (or never knew) that we all function within much larger systems — ecological, physical, metaphysical, political, economic.
Anyone who has ever studied economics at the most basic level knows that capitalism relies on the absolute expendability of labor — your skill, talent, loyalty are moot. The only way to mitigate the toxicity of laissez-faire capitalism is through public policy (unemployment benefits, unions, etc.)
Death? Nope, no answers. Natural disasters? If we all had a deeper or more sophisticated understanding of ecology or meteorology or urban planning, much more of it might, in fact, make sense and not be at all surprising — no matter how tragic or horrible. (steps off soapbox, lays down megaphone.) 🙂
I’ve been trying to make sense of life’s nonsense myself lately. I concluded like you that logic is beyond my abilities for such things. Also, like you I’m trying to trust that God has a plan and a weird sense of humor. Hoping that a turn on a dime happens soon and in a good way for us both.
Virtually toasting to that with you . . .
I spent way more time than I intended to reading blogs I follow this morning, and this wonderful post is the reason. I’ve read and reread it, stopping to reflect on my life, my experiences, and my beliefs along the way. Thank you for many minutes off quiet introspection and for capturing so much of what I’ve wrestled with, tried to find the logic in, and failing to do so, my decision to live llife the best I can. You captured all that and put it into words as i never could.
Thank you so very much. I’m glad you stopped by, glad you read and reread. That’s why I write. So many of us feeling and experiencing similar things and technology lets us share it with each other.
‘Life turns on a dime’ – must remember that, change the currency and use it 🙂
If it can turn on a dime, Roy, surely it can turn on a Jersey pound:).
Only we still have pound notes instead of coins 🙂
Once again, you and I are considering similar issues, as different as our respective lives are. The current post I am working on explores energy and vibration with some nods to the quantum model–I am finding it slow going. Life is so large for me right now that I am more stunned than not, as your post so beautifully demonstrates. Mostly, I consider Buddha nature, which I understand to be the ever-changing balance in the impermanence of life. And every once in a while, I get a glimpse of it–I think. Hope this next week “balances out” for you.
Karen
I am 100% in agreement with you. That things happen for reasons that we do not perceive. I have a very dear friend who has been my sister in many other physical incarnations (lifetimes), who is amazingly gifted in the ability to see, hear, sense things and energies that science can’t yet explain. She has taught me so much about the difference between the real world (what people might call the spirit world) and the world that our limited human brains perceive. I am learning how amazingly powerful we are when we set our intention for our highest good and open up our bruised hearts. It’s not easy nor for the faint of heart, but you are doing it. It doesn’t have to be pretty or perfect; just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
And about the 504 Plan, I’m sorry you’re getting so much push back on it. You would think you child’s school would want to support them in any and all ways. In there state where I live, there is an organization called PAVE that works with families, individuals with disabilities, professionals and community members in all walks of life and with all types of disabilities. I went to a short workshop they gave on IEP’s and 504 plans, and they had people who would come with families to school meetings, to act as an advocate. I don’t know if you can find someone to advocate for you, short of hiring a lawyer (and people do that too). Become very familiar with your/ your child’s rights and the school’s obligation within the scope of a 504 plan (Wrightslaw website is very good). My son’s school was good about creating his 504 plan, but didn’t get quite all of the accommodations I wanted. Now he has an IEP with his 504 accommodations on it. Push the school, but when you feel like you’re pushing against a brick wall, take a pause to let the universe step in.
A good reminder to me to set my intention for situations before I walk into them. Thank you for the 504 info and for visiting. Hope to see you here again:).
I am actually a regular reader (and fan) of your blog under another identity. This one is quite anonymous, but I would like to merge the two online identities within the year. Doing so has the potential to stir up a hornet’s nest, and now is not quite the time.
May the better turn on that dime come soon for you Kay. I read your wisdom and patience and courage and know you are deserving ot it.
Thanks, Mark. You are always so kind and encouraging. Right back ‘atcha.
You spoke so clearly to me today – thank you! I need to find a way to sit here and wave my white flag, and really accept that logic is not welcome and most definitely is not going to provide the answers. Thank you.
I’m glad my words resonated. You’re not alone in where you’re at today:).