How many times have we heard it when something tragic or unexpected happens: “But it doesn’t make sense.”
When a small child dies. A good family loses their home after losing a breadwinning job.
One of my resolutions this year is to stop trying to make sense of what happens. Because my small human mind just cannot.
I will not understand most things when looked at from a purely human perspective.
And the universe has no use for my logic.
If I call on my faith, sometimes that works. The small child was meant to come here to open up the hearts and minds of a select group of people. And that happened through this child’s death more effectively than if he or she had lived into octogenarian years. Comforting? No, not really. But does it make sense to me, from a soul perspective? Yes.
You can work hard your whole life and still be laid off at 58, sans a job for your last lucrative years.
You can raise your child with all the right words and actions, and still end up with an adult who hurts and disappoints those he loves.
You can write a book in a weekend that has no business selling millions, but it does. A book about giving up the chance at adventure and love to stay with someone you’ve been with for years, to honor a commitment made. And then in real life run off with your female gardener, 20 years your junior, leaving your wife and high school sweetheart of over 30 years. Robert James Waller of “Bridges of Madison County” fame certainly does not make sense.
A convict can give a woman he has never met his kidney, trying to make amends and change his imprint on this world.
You can lose your dog in a 1,362-square-mile national forest and be reunited five years later.
You can find gold bars in airplane toilets and win a multimillion dollar lottery twice in the same store.
I have stopped trying to use logic to explain these things but am also not so cynical that I buy into random chaos theories. I have to believe there is a divine hand guiding it all. One that sometimes has a wacky sense of humor. One that realizes what feels like a curse is necessary for us to get to our greater blessings, sometimes.
My life did just that a few years ago. Unpleasantly. And yet, from this “wrong” turn have come many blessings. Many new people and experiences for which I am thankful.
And I must honor that if life turns on a dime one way, it can just as easily turn the other. For the better.
I think my job is just to be prepared. To do, to the best of my ability. To live, to the best of my ability. All the rest is just detail. Detail too many of us get mired in on a daily basis.
So, in a week where nothing seems to make sense—when my child’s school is making the creation of a 504 plan akin to brokering peace in the Middle East, and my flu shot seems to have given me a version of the flu—I wave a white flag to the universe.
I know you’re in charge. I know my logic does not apply.
But any time you want to clue me in on yours, I’m listening. With rapt attention.