Full, rich and bodacious

I am honored to be featured as a guest blogger by Circling the Story today; October’s theme is harvest. I’ve put the beginning of the post below but please visit Circling the Story for the rest. As always, thank you for reading and sharing your wise thoughts with me, as well as a laugh or two. Wishing you all an abundant harvest of only good things this month.

Harvest is a rich word. A bountiful word.

Thanksgiving and Autumn, Orange Flowers Fall Mums and Pumpkins over hay in front of window and barn wall.
Full, rich and bodacious

You can’t think harvest without thinking of a golden-hued something in abundance, a gorgeous fall day, a bountiful basket. I love these images. Love the idea of reaping what I have sown.

And yet.

If I am completely honest, I struggle with accepting the abundance. I think it comes down to deservedness.

When young, anything less than A+ work elicited a frown from my mother. I had not worked hard enough, obviously. Mom never seemed to think that it might be a subjective error on the teacher’s part. It all came down to me. She always believed I had gotten the grade I deserved.

Sometimes I did.

Sometimes I didn’t.

But her unwillingness to give me the benefit of the doubt haunted me for years. That critical voice was the one that kept me from going after the fruits of my labor and truly enjoying them.

Who are you, the voice would say, to be featured in a national magazine for your writing? To be the senior vice president at work? To be loved by such a handsome, kind man?

I used to hear it, despite trying to cover my ears and plunge ahead. In the end, I’d be in the corner, tail between my legs. I mean—who was I, anyway? Just little ‘ole me. The voice felt right, even if awful.

And then, God had enough of me playing small . . .

To read the rest of the story, please visit:

www.circlingthestory.com/reader-stories/Kristine

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15 Comments Add yours

  1. exactly, less than a A+ was always my fault!

  2. A really lovely, thoughtful post, Kay. Thanks for it!

    1. candidkay says:

      Thanks so much, Cynthia. I much prefer to think of harvest than the winter/colder weather headed our way:).

  3. srbottch says:

    Christine, I enjoyed your story and its message. When I was in sales, selling fasteners of all things (screws, etc), an engineer would travel with me and I would remind him that all we are doing now is ‘sewing seeds’ and if we do it right and are worthy, then we would ‘harvest’ orders down the road. We harvested a few good ones and moved on yo more ‘sewing’.

    1. candidkay says:

      I guess it’s an approach that works in many areas of life, Steve:). Here’s to continuing to scatter and reap!

  4. Congratulations on getting published in “Circling the Story.” I think we all struggle with finding the balance between too little ego (who am I to try?) to too much (I did it. Now I’m feeling high on myself). Someone once said shrug off both victory and defeat the same way, and you’ll find the center. Easier said than done, but worth trying.

    1. candidkay says:

      Thanks, Laurie! That philosophy sounds like the Buddhist mantra. I try to walk that middle path but it’s always a challenge:).

  5. Amy says:

    This post, dear friend, is a cornucopia of wisdom and strength. Powerful, truthful, beautiful writing. xoxo

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you, Amy:). You provide me with inspiration quite often! Just being who you are.

  6. cardamone5 says:

    You are I must have been on the same wavelength today, except I am still on the accepting part of this process whereas you are much further along, because I wrote a similar post, although yours is tighter and more upbeat!

    Fondly,
    Elizabeth

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you! I’ll have to check out your post:). Accepting is not easy, ever. I think:).

  7. This was absolutely fantastic. I have had harvest on the mind, too! Heartfelt and beautiful.

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you:). It’s that time of year and you can just feel bounty in the air.

  8. cristi says:

    Love Autumn.
    Love the idea of harvest and reaping what you sow. (I believe heavily in karma.)
    Love this post!
    You are deserving, we all are…and cheers to it!
    Happy harvesting, and may it continue to be bountiful. 🙂

    1. candidkay says:

      I love autumn also–and a compadre on the karma bit:). Wishing you a gorgeous season of turtlenecks, hot cider, a warm fire.

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