I am not those other girls

I am not those other girls.

You know. The ones that believe every story and think the sun rises and sets on your every word. The ones that don’t quite match you in gray matter. The ones that make your brow furrow and your eyes trail off into the distance as you realize they cannot keep up.

I remember thinking this at age 14. Age 16. Age 24. And yes, revisiting now in my forties.

I am not someone you keep in a small fishbowl while you brave the ocean, coming to peer through the glass now and then—throwing me bits of food as you like.

I can brave the waves as well as you can. Hold my own in conversation in the wee hours over port, or scotch, or whatever breathes fire down your throat.

I laugh with more abandon, cry with more real tears and care with a depth you have not yet approached.

You did so much right amid the wrong.

But the fatal error was thinking I was like those other girls.

I’ll see you in the ocean, a tidal wave away. And I’ll smile. Knowing I left to surf the perfect wave.



31 Comments Add yours

  1. Brilliant post. If I am reading it right … don’t settle for less than what you deserve.

    1. candidkay says:

      Thanks. I will not. Promise:).

  2. “I will see you in the ocean!!” So good. So empowering and refreshing. I love it. Braving the waves– it’s the only way to go.

    1. candidkay says:

      I know you’re on your surfboard:).

  3. Kat says:

    I love this!

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you! Glad it resonated.

  4. Amy says:

    What I love and admire most about you, I think, is your fortitude. May you and that perfect wave find one another! xox

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you, friend! I sometimes think fortitude is a euphemism for just plain obstinance:).

  5. srbottch says:

    Nice post, K.Weve had such different experiences but I find helpful lessons in your post that transfer to my continuing ‘work’.

    1. candidkay says:

      Well, I think it’s wonderful that you and I can learn from each other despite our very different experiences :-). Looking forward to more that!

  6. Cindy Frank says:

    Bravo! Sail forth, proud and free!

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you! On my way:).

  7. Right decision. Go find your perfect wave. Don’t settle for less than the one that will carry you high, proud, and fast!

    1. candidkay says:

      I’m ready. Have improved my surfing skills immensely:).

  8. heyjude6119 says:

    It is better to be alone than to be shackled to someone who doesn’t realize or appreciate your worth.

    1. candidkay says:

      Amen and hallelujah to that!

  9. George says:

    I have three grown daughters so I can appreciate your powerful and inspiring words. Great post.

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you, George! I bet they are strong, smart women:).

      1. George says:

        That didn’t have a choice..:) I especially like what you said about raising sons who appreciate and respect strong women. That’s so important.

  10. Aunt Beulah says:

    Here are the sentences that resonated with me: “You did so much right amid the wrong. But the fatal error was thinking I was like those other girls.” I could have written them. What a strong defense of strong, intelligent women this is, Kay. Thank you for writing them.

    1. candidkay says:

      Honored if those are up to what you would have written:). I’m hoping to raise boys who love strong, intelligent women!

  11. Take that, you anonymous person you. Don’t mess with K. And don’t ever underestimate her!

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you, friend:). A virtual pat on the back. I’ll take it!

  12. Somehow you write the posts I need to read at exactly the right time. Life and love just threw me a curve-ball too, just when I thought I had life sorted out again. Not to be…And this really resonates!

    1. candidkay says:

      I’m so glad! You have a compadre across the drink, Lee. Here’s to strong, smart women!

  13. There is a perfect wave for us all, none the same and even though there are wipeouts along the way, you are def someone who can get back on board! Happy surfing 🏄🏾

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you! Wipeouts:). Nice description. But all survivable–you’re so right.

  14. Most certainly not like anyone else Kristine, a very unique individual 🙂
    But the life saver is still out there (not that you need a life saver)…and he’ll turn up at the right time, trust me.
    You just need to keep surfing for you 🙂

    1. candidkay says:

      Maholo and hanging ten! Thanks, Mark. Sweet as ever.

      1. Woohoo! Go girl, and be proud of it! 😀

I would love to hear your thoughts on this post. Drop me a line.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s