“Someone told me there’s a girl out there with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair.” –Led Zeppelin
Oh, there is, LZ. And I just helped her get married. If one can “help” someone do such a thing.
A good friend recently remarried. A friend who reached out to me soon after my divorce, although we did not know each other very well other than to say “hello” at school functions.
She left me a voicemail I’ll never forget. It said, “You don’t know it yet but you are going to need a divorced friend. Someone who gets it. Someone who has weekends without kids while everyone else is having family time. Let’s get together for dinner soon.”
It was a godsend. I was trying to navigate new waters in which I was childless and a single woman in a Family (yes, capital F is entirely intentional) town. And she was 100 percent correct. I needed a divorced friend—one who would act as BFF, therapist, partner in crime and fellow career woman figuring it out solo.
We saw each other through awful dates, crazy work schedules, a relationship or two, and times where it seemed the world was caving in because we could not handle all that was on our plates. She is someone I know I can call at 3 a.m. and she’ll pick up the phone. She is straight with me always; that in and of itself is a rare treasure.
I recently wrote about my trip to Hawaii. There, I saw this accomplished woman—love in her eyes and flowers in her hair—say “I do” to a wonderful man. One who is also accomplished and the yang to her yin. They married on a bluff as the sun set, the sound of the surf behind them. We celebrated into the night with champagne, heartfelt toasts and words of support for the happy couple.
My friend is not a love-in-her-eyes-&-flowers-in-her-hair kind of gal, usually. She is take-charge, no-nonsense. Stoic. So, to see her as she was in Hawaii? Well, that was some kind of wonderful.
And to see a man who can appreciate a woman like that, who is strong enough that she can find her “gentle” but confident enough to admire her strength—well that is another kind of wonderful.
In the midst of a turbulent world, screaming headlines, political unrest—I was able to rejoice in the girl and the love and the flowers. May it happen more often for more women. May it bear witness to a beauty and reality that defies turbulence, screaming, unrest.
We cannot turn a blind eye to the world but we can live in our own space in love.
Seeing my friend do so inspired me. I hope in similar fashion, somewhere in this big wide world, a man exists who is looking for the love in my eyes.
For him, I’ll put flowers in my hair.
And I know she will be there to help me do it.