Why not this year, my dear?

Tell me. Tell me again, dear, why this cannot be your year.

Speak to me of how good girls don’t claim the brass ring. I need a good chuckle.

Because yes, I will chuckle. Do you not know your good awaits? It awaits you. You feeling worthy of it. You having the skills to handle it. You with your beautiful insides carved by pain to hold more joy.

Why wouldn’t this be the year you leave the significant other who hasn’t treated you the way we all hoped he would treat you?

Why wouldn’t this be the year you publish that book to rave reviews?

Why wouldn’t this be the year you finally remember to bring your reusable grocery bags into the store each and every time?

(I have friends who accomplished the first two things last year. That last one? Forget it. It’s far too lofty even for the Type A’s.)

Claim it. Own it. Be it. Yes, this year.

Don’t think I cannot hear your sighs of protest. If leaving the lout and claiming your grocery bags is too difficult, let’s start with baby steps.

Such as? Why, I’m so glad you asked.

Tell me why, one more time, this year cannot be the year you add only those things to your life that are exceedingly beautiful, essential or bring you joy. Tell me why making a dent in the immense quantity of material objects you have accumulated—most of which don’t fit the aforementioned criteria—is impossible.

Explain to me, please, why you cannot take impromptu walks in a green space, stop by an art museum or gallery, make something of beauty.

Share with me—yet again—why this cannot be the year you put on the damn bathing suit and swim laps without worrying about who is looking at your ass and whether it is jiggling. And while we’re at not caring what people think, how about trying out the French you’ve been trying to learn, playing the Bach you’ve found soothes your soul or serving something a bit out of the ordinary at the dinner table? Convention be damned. Your unsophisticated friends will just have to grow a little. There are worse things.

I know you have your own version of what could be this year. It is hidden in a locked room in that beautiful soul of yours, wondering why it has wings if you never intended to allow it to fly.

You can’t experience what you don’t claim.

And anyone that tells you nice girls don’t claim things is a roadblock you will have to just drive right around. Detours take time. And we all have a limited quantity of that.

The brass ring awaits, my dear. And I think this is our year.


58 Comments Add yours

  1. I so enjoy your voice. Do it, make it. Now, you’d take a photo in that bathing suit, I hope. Because honey, in 20 yrs you’ll look back on it and wish you had it back.

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you! High praise coming from you. At least on the voice. The bathing suit? Hmmm- I hear what you’re saying because I look at shots of the boys and me in Costa Rica several years ago-a time when I really wasn’t sure if I wanted my photo taken in my swimsuit-and I think exactly what you said here :-).

  2. “Why can’t it be this year?”It definitely can!! Happy New Year Kristine, may we continue creating our dreams each day. 💕

    1. candidkay says:

      I’m all for it! Co-creation at its best:). Happy New Year!

  3. Aunt Beulah says:

    What a glorious anthem to the strength of women and their possibilities this is. Every word you wrote is meaningful and will speak directly to the hearts that need them. I found this line particularly meaningful, haunting, and, ultimately, empowering: “You with your beautiful insides carved by pain to hold more joy.” It’s one of the best descriptions of women I’ve read in a long time. Your words are a rare treasure, Kay.

    1. candidkay says:

      Such kind words. Thank you. I’ve always felt for those who are carved by pain but don’t allow the joy to seep in afterwards :-). Here’s to plenty of joy in our 2017!

  4. What a great optimistic post Kristine in a time when there has been such worry and negativity around. Why not indeed?

    1. candidkay says:

      I no longer believe that “what you focus on grows” is just a platitude. So, while no Pollyanna, I am focusing on the good :-). Wishing you oodles of it this year!

  5. Cindy Frank says:

    Loved this. A toast to you for a New Year of strength, tenacity and joy!

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you! Raising my glass to you also. May this be our year:).

    1. candidkay says:

      Good! Means I was meant to write it and you were meant to read it. Here’s to 2017, for both of us!

  6. Well put! I find that envisioning the greatness, or goal to be achieved helps me claim it – see it then own it!
    Happy New Year!

    1. candidkay says:

      I’m all about owning it this year:)

    2. candidkay says:

      And I ordered the book you recommended in your blog! Can’t wait to read it:).

  7. itsabakerslife says:

    Hello. I just wanted to comment to tell you that this post really resonated with me. You have a way with words, both gentle and firm at the same time. I really really want this year to be my year. I want to do things I’ve never done before, and grow in ways that will be scary at the time but satisfying in the end. I’m glad I read this, its a lovely reminder that everyone is capable. Thank you.

    1. candidkay says:

      I really, really want this to be your year also :-). I am so glad you happened upon my blog and truly thank you for the kind words. Here is to 2017 being a year when everything pivots :-). In the best possible way for both of us.

  8. I am with you on this… Let’s claim it this year!
    Last year was a big year of new things and new adventures which also built in me the desire to linger a little bit more and I did a lot of that! Now this year, I’m building in with that time of lingering and adding time for going after those things that sometimes seem out of reach. It’s going to be a good year girlfriend and we’re going to go after it!
    Thanks for the good words… and Happy New Year to ya!

    1. Oh… and by the way… I just went to the store on Monday and forgot all my bags! 🙂 Heehee… I felt it was a good way to start the new year!

    2. candidkay says:

      I’m with you all the way:). Every step. And those bags–I think we’re going to conquer them this year. Just a hunch . . .

  9. srbottch says:

    That a girl, et, woman, ‘just do it’! As we say in sales, ‘plan your work, then work your plan’. Good luck!

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you! And a very happy, blessed, prosperous new year to you!

  10. This truly resonated with me – how did you know I ALWAYS forget my green bags 🙂 – And I think that there is always something that will crop up that stops one starting a truly wonderful year so it is best just to begin – regardless. Thanks for that push. And may you achieve that wonderful dream yourself.

    1. candidkay says:

      Don’t feel bad. I even forget when I put the bags in my purse! Sigh. I agree on the year. I think you and I are off to a good start–keep on keeping on.

  11. So inspiring! I loved this: “You can’t experience what you don’t claim.” So true!!

    1. candidkay says:

      So go out there and claim away, sister:). Claim away!

  12. George says:

    I have faith in your faith in yourself and those around you..:)
    Keep moving.

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you! Moving water always takes you somewhere interesting:)

  13. socialbridge says:

    Delighted to have found you via Dale.

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you! Dale is always an inspiration to me:). Glad to have you here!

      1. socialbridge says:

        I think Dale is an inspiration to people all over the world!

      2. candidkay says:

        I would have to agree!

  14. Judy says:

    Ready to claim this year! Happy New Year!

    1. candidkay says:

      Good! Can’t wait to hear how wonderfully it unfolds:).

      1. Judy says:

        Thanks. 🙂

  15. Susan says:

    This IS your year.

  16. What a wonderful way to greet the new year, with a question that invites us all to shake out our wings and soar. Nelson Mandela said it was the light we’re afraid of, not the dark. Well let’s toast to the light! Hope we all learn to fly in 2017 and thanks for such inspirational posts

    1. candidkay says:

      Marianne Williamson said something similar. Love that quote:). And I will join you in toasting to the light! What a beautiful way to put it!

  17. Dale says:

    Reblogged this on A Delectable Life and commented:
    I so loved reading this particular post, I just have to share it with you all! Kristine has said what I have started doing since last year. If we don’t start now, when do we start?

  18. Dale says:

    This is absolutely brilliant, Kristine! So much so, I just have to reblog it. It says everything – OK, maybe not *everything* but lots of what I started DOING last year and will continue to do THIS year! Love!
    A most wonderful, inspired, beautiful, fabulous 2017 to you!

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you! Both for the kind words and for the re-blog :-). Why does it not surprise me that you were ahead of the curve in doing all of this? 🙂 Wishing you a happy 2017 full of wonderful adventures!

      1. Dale says:

        Well now… considering the dreck I had been through in the past few years, I figured waiting had become highly over done.

      2. candidkay says:

        Dreck is an understatement! You’ve been an inspiration to me:).

      3. Dale says:


  19. More beauty, less hesitation. I’ll toast to that! Cheers!

    1. candidkay says:

      See? I could have just written that:). Far more concise!

      1. Concise only works for toasts. The world is more beautiful for stories and ideals shared in well-crafted, winding prose.

  20. agshap says:

    I think that “devil may care” attitude comes with age…with me anyway…the older I get the more I do things for me….not others, not to please them but me. I still help when I can but I do not put myself out there to be taken advantage of….there is so much to do!

    1. candidkay says:

      I agree. My mother was right–she always said with age, comes wisdom. And catering to your own desires and development certainly seems wise to me!

  21. Only from the wings of an eagle can you see the forest for the tree’s Kristine…now dare to fly like one 😀
    Happy New Year, to you and your wings 😀

    1. candidkay says:

      Happy New Year, Mark! I hope you’ve brushed off your wings this year also:).

  22. Wonderful, Kay. Go for it!

    1. candidkay says:

      Only if you do too, friend:).

  23. What joy your article brings me. It’s such a lovely change from the usual smarmy or bossy positivity — no, you are really really asking us a genuine question. Thanks a heap!

    1. candidkay says:

      Oh, you’re worth so much more than “10 ways to make this the BEST year ever.” Gag:). I’m glad it resonated–and I hope you let whatever it is fly this year.

  24. Amy says:

    Love this! Inspirational, rational, wise, and completely wonderful! Happy 2017, dear friend! xoxox

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you! And Happy New Year to you also:). Here’s to that bookstore/coffehouse convo.

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