If we were having coffee . . .

If you and I were having coffee this week, luxuriating in a solid hour of uninterrupted conversation, I might share a few things. Grab your cuppa’ and we’ll do it virtually. Be sure to tell me what’s new in your world in the comments. (And thank you to my blogger friend, Dale, for her inspiration on this post. I always enjoy her coffee klatch posts. She is a fellow single mom of two teenaged boys and one furry companion, yet always manages to keep it all joyful.)

If we were having coffee this morning, I would tell you that I was warmed by the sight of a woman in a very expensive sports car handing a homeless man a cup of Starbucks this morning. He was sitting near the drive-through, wrapped in a large blue blanket, his backpack at his side. I was inspired and bought him a breakfast sandwich. “Thank you for seeing me,” he said. And I know he did not mean seeing him sitting there on the curb. The tears in his eyes told me he was thankful to be seen as a human being who deserved kindness. “Let’s both have ourselves a good breakfast, shall we?” I said to him. Upon driving away, Three Dog Night’s “Joy to the World” started playing on satellite radio. Apropos, don’t you think? From my lofty position as an armchair world leader, I am sure this is how we will change the world. One minute act at a time. En masse.

As we broke down and ordered the scones we swore we would not order (what is coffee without scones, really?), I would tell you that I am soon to unleash a Latin lover on the world. Hold tight to your daughters, friends. My eldest—the boy who for years had no game—now has his motorcycle license (courtesy of his father, not me) and is learning to master a stick-shift car. If you’re not a car aficionado, the stick-shift may not make sense to you, but any gearhead knows if you want to drive a REAL sports car, it must be manual. Or so my gearhead tells me. Between his engaging sense of humor, devilish smile and the speed demon bits soon to come, the girls of the world should be ready to swoon and I should break out the hair dye to hide the white hair he is giving me. Wasn’t it just yesterday that I dropped him off for high school orientation?

I would tell you that my youngest, far from having game, delights in his introvert time. That he goes through book after book at the speed of light. That he delights in his “white space,” unscheduled time where he can just moodle. And that I see so much of myself in him—the good and the bad. We are just a couple of bookworms who are a sucker for a good story. I hope it builds in him the rich inner world I built as a child.

I would tell you the list I have for my handymen is growing and I can’t count the number of times I wish I would have allowed my father to teach me how to take care of a home properly.

If you asked how I am doing after the death of a friend, I would tell you better than expected. Although I cry at the oddest times. The other day, an email came in saying a couple of links were broken on a website we had created—and it was addressed to both of us. As if she is going to take care of that now. And it made me cry, because it assumed she was still very much alive and those kinds of things were still important to her.

And finally, if you asked, I would tell you that my day to day is really bringing me joy. That I am learning to move away from that which does not bring me joy—from online dating to berating myself for what is left undone. That I am reading the most wonderful book, one it might surprise you that I like. This black-turtleneck-wearing feminist is relishing a book reminiscent of Mary Engelbreit, filled with doodles, recipes, old photos and the like. It’s a wonderful story about a woman who reinvents her life after divorce—and I have a feeling it has a happy ending. No wonder I like it so much. Martha’s Vineyard: Isle of Dreams is worth the purchase from your local bookstore.

Your turn. Do tell. I’d love to know what is going on in your world this week—what has made you happy, angry or sad. As the editor-in-chief of Gourmet, Ruth Reichl, says: “Pull up a chair. Take a taste. Come join us. Life is so endlessly delicious.”

Amen to that. And cheers to you, I say, with my coffee cup held high.

(If you’d like to see who else is available for coffee this week, check out Weekend Coffee Share here.)

 

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48 Comments Add yours

  1. So…. a bit late to the party. Let’s see, this week I would tell you that I am struggling a bit. About six weeks ago, while running, I started to experiment some severe pain in my hip. Fortunetly it was not arthritis but it was bursitis. Still painful but also treatable. I’ve been doing physio and resting. I’m not a good rester. It has also been snowing and cold. I long for the warmer days when I can lace up my runners and head out onto the trails.

    1. candidkay says:

      Bursitis! Have heard of it, but thankfully have never had it. I’m sorry you’re having to take it easy. Are you a book reader? Can send you some ideas of books that I couldn’t put down:).

      1. I am. Just started The Signature of All Things. Always open to book suggestions. 🙂

      2. candidkay says:

        These are not new, but both had me up until all hours of the night:). Loving Frank and Memoirs of a Geisha. Newer, short but sweet book–The Red Notebook. Let me know what you think of TSoAT.

      3. Read Memoirs years ago and then again last year. Love it! I’ll try Loving Frank next. Thanks

      4. candidkay says:

        I stayed up until 1 AM finishing loving Frank :-).

      5. So I didn’t love SofAT. I enjoued the first third. I loved the young Henry. I thought she spent a lot of time going into detail about stuff that didn’t really impact the story and then glossed over things that I though did. I also enjoyed the last part when she had made it to Amsterdam. Just my opinion. On to the next one…..

      6. candidkay says:

        Thanks for letting me know! I feel like I have so little time to read that I have to carefully pick my books :-). This helps.

  2. I would say thanks for sharing your words with me that make me laugh when I’m waiting for news on my dog who is having an operation as we speak (on his bottom, let’s not go there) and make me think about ‘seeing’ people. I’d also say let’s sit outside because the first day of March has brought sunshine. And I’d say I’m glad you’re reading and I hope you’re doing it in that room you don’t use enough…

    1. candidkay says:

      Oh, your poor pooch! I hope everything is alright. I’d probably be so worried about the dog, we would talk of nothing else. But we would enjoy the sunshine! As it’s cold and rainy here, enjoy it for me today:).

      1. The rain has arrived here now too, but pooch is home, feeling very sorry for himself but he’s home and that’s the main thing 🙂

  3. I loved the woman in the expensive sports car buying the homeless man coffee. “Thank you for seeing me.” Wow.

    1. candidkay says:

      Me too. She inspired me. I love it when we can do that for each other.

  4. ~M says:

    I’m glad you visited my blog today, because it has allowed me a chance to find yours. And I love your style of writing, very witty! Even through the loss of your friend, you have been able to keep a lighthearted feel to this post and made life seem hopeful and positive. I love the way you did that; for even in sadness, we must find positive aspects to get us through. I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend. It’s so very hard to lose someone we love. ❤️

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you so much for the kind words. I agree. Grief must be acknowledged and experienced, but not indulged.

      1. ~M says:

        You’re welcome. Have a wonderful week! 🙂

  5. Aunt Beulah says:

    If we were having coffee, I’d explain I’m late because I was wrapped up in a good book and didn’t even have time to look in the mirror or find a coat before dashing out of the house and then I’d ask you to tell me I look beautiful, if cold, and you would. I’d tell you that lately when I write the words are flowing easily and I find them pleasing. I might mention the excellent Greek lamb meatballs in a reduced tomato and eggplant sauce I made for dinner last night and how my husband and I had to force ourselves to quit eating it — though we never eat lamb. I’d describe my relief when I went to my doctor with my homework — a four-week record of my daily, thrice-taken blood pressure — and he said he’d be guilty of malpractice if he prescribed blood pressure medication for me, which we both thought he’d have to do. And that would just be my warm up.

    1. candidkay says:

      First off, applause applause on the blood pressure! That is absolutely wonderful. And I am sure a relief for you. Second, I want to know what the good book is that made you late. And third, of course you look beautiful. How could you not when that beautiful soul of yours shines through even in the short response :-)?

      1. Aunt Beulah says:

        What a lovely thing to say to me, Kay, thank you. The book is All the Light We Cannot See. Though I came late to its party, I found it well written and peopled with characters I cared about.

  6. Kristine, I suspect this may become a recurring theme in my comments here, because many start with: “If it makes you feel any better…”

    If it makes you feel any better, my Dad did “encourage” (compel) me to join him in home improvement/repairs. I handed over wrenches and nails, held the ladder, and helped mask walls before painting. After several years of indentured servitude, I’m left with a few key insights: 1.) The person that spends 8hrs a day, every day, is likely to do a better job than me. 2.) Life is too short to stare hopelessly at the plumbing under the sink, and 3.) There is no shame in asking my wife to put up the shelves in the spare bedroom.

    1. candidkay says:

      Oh man. Your wife puts up shelves? Can you send her over here to fix my closet shelf? :-).

      1. hehehe if we had a pre-nup I would insist on an exclusivity clause particularly when it comes to sharing her wide ranging expertise. I know I’d be screwed if she realized how green the grass was on the other side of the fence 😉

  7. I am sure you can do the repairs at home, just google how to do it. Sure you will screw up the first time but you will get it

    1. candidkay says:

      Oh, such faith in me:). I can do minor bits–but most of it–no. Even way back in high school, when I was tested for talents–they told me not to try to repair things. The result is usually comical:).

      1. Okay what is the easiest thing you need to repair? Socket? Tell me that and I will help you out.

        You have grown a long way from high school

  8. I can’t even imagine the motorcycle bit…one of the good things about raising kids in NYC– driving is not big here.
    Mine are actually on a mid winter break from school, and I am struggling with trying to enjoy these moments when they still want to hang out with me and looking at that huge pile of work I keep blowing off to be with them.
    Thanks for the coffee 😉

    1. candidkay says:

      I remember those days! But when they’re teens, they want to hang out with you less:). Thank God mine haven’t given it up altogether!

  9. iamlindseybernice says:

    If we were sitting down having coffee on this day. I would tell you that I am having goods and bad days these days.

    I would share how Sunday and Monday of this week was hard to get out of bed for me. That I am trying to get myself to wake up at 7am everyday this week and go for a walk after I have had my morning water and coffee.

    I would share how Feb 6th I was close to losing my life due to my ectopic pregnancy and my left tube rupturing and internal bleeding.

    I would let you know that since coming home from the hospital and starting my blog and throwing myself into the blogging community that I have felt amazing and for the first time that I belong somewhere and fit in!

    I also am excited for school to start up in April for me. Working toward becoming a kindergarten teacher. When I found out I was pregnant back in Dec I was a little lost in what I wanted to do with my life but I learned quickly with my love for kids that teaching would be the best thing.

    I would probably laugh and giggle a lot because that is my nature by default to just be happy despite everything that has gone on in my life the last few months and weeks alone.

    1. candidkay says:

      I am so sorry seems inadequate, but know it is heartfelt. I am so glad you are finding open arms in the blogging community–a lot of good souls out here who offer comfort and words of wisdom. The kids of the world could sure use kindergarten teachers who feel teaching is a calling. Despite your grief, I am so happy to hear you are still laughing. Joy is such a great healer, when it finds us. Will be keeping you in my good thoughts and sending you good juju in spades.

  10. Well, if we were sitting having coffee. I would say it’s good to have an evening at home with nothing really to do but read and write. Last week was a blur with my hubby’s sweet grandmother passing away and all the family gathering to say their good-byes. I would tell you how we put many miles on our vehicles running here and there gathering with family and processing grief. And now this week I am busy with catching up with work, homeschooling and getting my kids to events and classes. So tonight it’s quiet… for now… until tomorrow when we have senior pictures scheduled and then Friday leaving for a weekend wedding event in the mountains. I’m looking forward to time away with just hubby and me. Thanks for the chat and the coffee time! 🙂

    1. candidkay says:

      I’m so sorry about your husband’s grandmother. The world really does not give us enough time to process our grief, does it? It continues to churn and burn as we wish for a moment of respite. I hope you enjoy your evening of quiet and your weekend in the mountains. Both sound like a little slice of heaven!

  11. I am sad to hear you lost a friend. I have not checked in with you in awhile and so thought I would pay a visit. My condolences to you my dear.

    It warmed my heart though to hear you warmed someone else’s with a breakfast sandwich. It really is just the little things, most of the time.

    As for me I worked this morning, but have been hoarding my afternoon all to myself, as it is the only opportunity I will have this week. As a master’s level student, an intern, an employee, a writer, a reader, a wife, a dog and bird mom, a sister and a friend….time to myself is rare these days. As for what’s new, I am trying to decide how much of my personal self I need to keep separate from my “counselor” self. As well as trying to decide how brave I want to be in letting others into my inner world. Counselors are supposed to have their shit together you know? We are supposed to be sane, buttoned down, tidied up and well put together and all. Not a hair out of place and all of our little quacky ducks in a row! 🙂 What if one of my quacky ducks goes astray? Where might I be then? What if a client saw one of them wandering about? My heavens what a potential mess that could be! Yes, yes…these are the wanderings of my mind lately.

    Well, I must also confess I am not a coffee drinker, but I have become quite the tea addict. So I never mind pulling up a cup to the keyboard and having a chat when I catch a moment.

    1. candidkay says:

      I promise if A quacky duck with your name on it crosses my path, I will make sure it finds its way back home to you :-). Seriously, I think the best counselors are those who have lost all control of their Quacky ducks at some point. They have the empathy to help others from experience. I’m so glad to hear you took an afternoon for yourself. Part of the reason I feel I am finding so much joy is I am just enjoying the simple moments by myself so much more. Indulging my inner introvert :-). And T-well, T was a staple in my house growing up. So, I have a cupboard full. Toasting to you with a cup of decaf green at the moment. Thank you so much for sharing.

  12. I have a computer in 10,000 pieces across my dining room table, doing a job that I told myself would take 10 min, now going on 2 days 😀 And then spirit came to me and said….’go have a coffee with Kristine’…so I did…thank you for the invite. My coffee tastes beautiful, as does your post, thank you for sharing your cuppa! 😀

    1. candidkay says:

      Ah, Spirit is always so wise, isn’t it? I would not even attempt 10 pieces, let alone 10,000! Here’s to perseverance . . . and wine at the end of a day:).

  13. Michelle charles says:

    Hi K – loved this post and sorry we haven’t gotten together. Here is an update on me aka our coffee date on line. I was personally driving with my oldest daughter last night. She is 17 and needs more practice hours before she can get her license. She did fine – I was a wreck not being in control. Can’t imagine if she was driving a motorcycle. Turning this task back over to Posh I don’t have the temperament. High school is going way too fast – Act/sat and starting the whole college search. Meanwhile we just found out her younger sister got into St. Ignatius so we are thrilled to have a high school option if CPS doesn’t work out we will know if a week. Life in the big city – competing for high schools. My shepherd and I just returned from a 5 mile walk on the lake. What a beautiful day, a gift for February. Anyway would love to catch up in person one of these days! Your blog reminded me of a book I have been meaning to read “The kindness boomerang.” I just reserved it at the Library thanks for the gentle reminder. In the meantime I will keep enjoying your blog. Cheers!

    1. candidkay says:

      Given the teenaged driving bits, we would probably be meeting for wine rather than coffee! Please keep me posted on the Ignatius bit–that is an option for my youngest:). Excellent school! Just looked up The Kindness Boomerang and it looks wonderful:). Let me know if it is . . .

  14. FSD says:

    Took the day off bc boss is out of town and it gives me some flexibility to stay home with my hubby who has stage 4 esophageal and stomach cancer. Precious time together. Also woke up at my normal super early time and watched a movie (on demand) that I’ve really wanted to see. Little things.

    Also humbled and grateful for all the wonderful friends who are thinking of us and scheduling home visits with us. Little and big things.

    1. candidkay says:

      Oh, sweetie. I am so sorry. I had no idea that’s what was going on. I am so glad you took the day. It’s those everyday moments that bring such joy, I think, not so much the ones with lot of hoopla attached to them. I will keep you both in my prayers and send gallons of good juju your way. This is a tough journey. The next movie on my list is a documentary: http://zendudemovie.com/. You can stream it for $6. Sending along in case you guys want something a little out there in the ether today to watch together. Hugs and kisses headed your way.

  15. I was thinking, a bit impatiently until I read your post, about all the errands I must run today for other people. Such as the trip to a bridal shop to pick up a pair of opera-style long gloves that my daughter must wear to a school-related soiree for seniors. Then I have to gird for battle just in case I confront a problem picking up her dress after having alterations made at the tailor shop. Why a possible problem? Because I, and I alone, seem to have misplaced the claim ticket I was given when we dropped it off last weekend. And I’m pretty sure they didn’t take my name. Although one might think this isn’t a dilemma or a big deal of any sort, I find myself so often expecting the worst and that negativity easily transforms into resentment, or frustration, or other feelings that lead to frowns and furrowed brows. Now, after reading of your inspiring encounters, it’s time for a confession: It’s actually a joy to help my daughter because she is always appreciative and because I’m going to miss her so much after she leaves for college. And losing a claim ticket is a pretty small thing, really, when you start thinking about life’s hassles. Your post made me wiser because now I’m determined to avoid my feared fate. I’m going to take a long walk, boldly go where I must go and reassure myself that things will be fine. Maybe I’ll also find a way to let the mundane become chances to be pleasant and to exchange smiles along the way. Or to see someone who deserves to be noticed and treated with kindness. Thanks! (And wish me luck.)

    1. candidkay says:

      Oh, I love this. Because I see myself in you, in the girding for battle bit. I have been trying to train myself to expect the best–and trust it will all work out. Amazingly, that works about 90 percent of the time. Why did someone not share this secret with us when we were five? 🙂 Enjoy that girl of yours while she is with you. I feel the same pending mother’s angst over my son leaving in just a bit over a year. I know it’s time–and yet, selfishly want to keep him. Thank you so much for sharing–and enjoy that walk! Wish I could take it with you.

  16. Dale says:

    Wonderful, Kristine! So happy I inspired you to join in! (I’m glad Nerd in the Brain leaves the link up – oh wait! I just saw you did not add your link…) Thanks for your kind words, they mean a lot to me.
    What a wonderful post and you rock, lady! Giving a sandwich is true kindness.
    Oh lordy… motorcycle license? Are you not scared s***less? Mine is *still* license-free as he has to retry his exam…
    I love the way you write. Truly I do. And, I will definitely look up that book. I’m always open to new reads!
    Welcome to coffee time!

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you, Dale! I’ll go back to your post and try to leave my link:). Sometimes I am a tech dinosaur, I swear! And yes, terrified of the motorcycle license, particularly since my uncle was killed on one by a drunk driver. But, he has no motorcycle–yet. He can only ride a friend’s for now–thank God!

      1. Dale says:

        Oh man… part of our growing up is having to let go… hang on, I’ll put the link on mine!

      2. Dale says:

        Dang… I couldn’t make it work.. so click on the box at the too and then you’ll be brought to Emily’s site with the link!

      3. candidkay says:

        I got there–but it says the collection is closed?

      4. Dale says:

        Dang… I was worried about that. I think it stays open until Monday, Tuesday, tops. Still… there is always next week! And lucky me, I’m already subscribed to you so…I got an in!!

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