Still waters

My father used to fret about my penchant for books, for quiet, for solitude. On many occasions, as I lay in my bed, I heard my mother tell him yet again, “Still waters run deep.”

How many times as a young Catholic schoolgirl I heard the priest from the pulpit: “Be still and know that I am God.”

And now, an affirmation I use often: “In the stillness, I receive.”

I do. Receive, that is, in the stillness. Left to my own devices, I’d stay up reading, writing and musing until the wee hours of the morning. Then I’d sleep in the next day and start all over again. It seems those wee hours are just about the only magical time the cacophony of the world’s collective thoughts and voices stills for me. I feel you all loudly throughout the day. It’s hard to turn it off sometimes and be with what the stillness has to share. But at 2 a.m., there it is. Blessed silence and the slumber of busy minds.

I choose a word each year as a theme of sorts. One year, my word was “allow.” Another year, “ease.” For 2020, I’m waiting for the stillness to talk to me. What keeps coming through is “Now.” With a capital N. As in, this very moment. A far more poetic way to say it, don’t you think?

As in, all we have is this very moment. No other. If I’m worrying about tomorrow’s deadline, I’ve lost today. If I’m regretting yesterday’s decision, I’ve given up my peace right now.

With so many words to choose, this seems an obvious one. A bit pedestrian. The poet in me doesn’t like that. But I somehow feel the power of 2020, for me, is going to come in the moment. In bringing the full presence of my soul to wherever I am, whoever I am with, whatever I am doing. To stop my active mind from racing around, wasting time anywhere but where I am at this very moment.

Perhaps another way to say this is “presence.” But “this very moment” reminds me where I am and what to attend to. I’ll let my poet’s soul and the dictation of the Universe duke it out in the stillness. No matter which wins out, it means the same.

Here. Now. 100%.

Happy New Year, friends. Please let me know if you choose a word for the year—and why it means something to you. I love being inspired by all of you. Thanks for continuing this journey with me.



59 Comments Add yours

  1. “cacophony of the world’s collective thoughts” this… Is what I endeavor to escape from during my excursions.



    Speaking to the choir my friend!

    1. candidkay says:

      I knew I was, based on your writing:). Being in the world but not of it seems a prereq for the kind of writing we do . . .

  2. Librarylady says:

    Wow, I think our mothers were separated at birth. Mine used to say, “Put down the book and go out and play”. I like this post – it’s important to be in the moment, and reminders are always welcome. Beautiful site, it looks very professional.

  3. I think now is a super choice! That’s what every moment of our day is .. I love the expression to live in the now. For me I think I would love a sentence of words .. peace, love, trust, growth and now 🤗👏

    1. candidkay says:

      I have done phrases in the past–I say go for it! I just love the simplicity of one word right now. Feels right:). Happy New Year, Julie!

  4. Masha says:

    Happy New Year Kay, I love your word Now, my word came to me last October which is when it usually appears and this year it’s “empowered” From the moment it appeared I’ve felt the power of this word, I feel empowered.

    1. candidkay says:

      Happy New Year, Masha! Here’s to a 2020 featuring a new, empowered you! Great word.

  5. I love this. I am also focusing on stillness!

    1. candidkay says:

      Good luck! I’m not really focusing on stillness, but rather than staying present in the moment. But it did take stillness to get me to my word for the year :-). And what a beautiful word that is for you.

  6. Ninasusan says:

    Blessings in this new year. During white stone ceremony at Unity church yesterday, through meditation, the word “Listen” came to me. I won’t be necessarily listening to the cacophony of our society, I will be listening to the silence!

    1. candidkay says:

      Ooh. I like “Listen.” I can’t wait to hear what the universe says to you when you do.

  7. Karen Lang says:

    A beautiful reminder for all of us to acknowledge the power of stillness. I have found all my healing in that space. May 2020 uncover all that is still and beautiful within you. 🙂

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you, Karen! 🥳 Happy New Year!

  8. markbialczak says:

    Happy New Year, Kay. May you enjoy, appreciate and make the most of every moment.

    1. candidkay says:

      Happy New Year, Mark! Wishing you many blessings in 2020.

      1. markbialczak says:

        And Happy 2020 for sure to you, Kay.

  9. ‘Now’ is a great word, we (all) make the mistake of fretting about the future, planning important decisions too far off in the horizon. I’ve never really thought about choosing a word for the upcoming year perhaps because I’ve never bothered with New Year resolutions, having said that setting yourself personal goals is a smart idea…… if pushed? I guess I’d choose ‘love’ as in ‘love a good woman’ and lol ‘to be loved by a good woman’.

    1. candidkay says:

      I choose a word for the year per Cicely because I realize that resolutions really don’t work. The word doesn’t feel like work. Instead, it just sort of colors my vision as I go through my gear and make choices. Love is a wonderful word and some thing we could sure use more of in the world right now.

  10. Annika Perry says:

    Kristine, I feel we lived the same bookish lives as young … Reading late into the nights/early mornings! Luckily my mother was just the same and as long as I managed school the next day I was left to Read! Heavenly!

    You’ve chose a great word for this year and isn’t it odd how we fight Now at all times, looking, worrying about the future, or even the past! Me=er letting the Now exist in its own haven and tranquility!

    Wishing you a wonderful year of living in the present, letting the rest fall away! Xx

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank goodness for mothers who love the bookish and understand us :-). Happy New Year, Annika! Wishing you a year of wonderful stories.

  11. I like your choice of “Now”, but for me I think it will be “Focus”. Focus on finishing my studies, getting that damned degree finished and then deciding where it will take me (maybe that will be in 2021). Perhaps “Now” might also be good for me, but there are other things I need to focus on too, so I think that will dominate. It’s all about work this year, I think, for me.

    1. candidkay says:

      Chop wood, carry water. Right? Wishing you the year you want!

  12. Su Leslie says:

    With my track record on New Year stuff, chances are I would have forgotten my ‘word’ by the first working day after the holiday. Having said that, I like Now. It’s the right word for, Er, now. If a whole lot of us don’t start acting now to change our ways and change our institutions then it won’t be long until the word of the year is End —as in THE END.

    1. candidkay says:

      I couldn’t agree more! Happy New Year! Now😀

  13. Our holding patterns are just those fears within us, those things that we don’t understand, an unknown quantity. In understanding them they lose their power over us and we are free…and truly in the now, no longer held in another time, another place.
    While ever those fears are given breath they keep us ‘on guard’ in all we do, keeping us locked into those worries and stress. In understanding them we are taught that one piece of magic we have always kept at bay…to love ourselves.
    In understanding our fears we remove the conditions of the past or future that we place on ourselves, the ‘what if’s’ or ‘can I do this’ and create an unconditional love, the one that has no ‘on guard’ because it has been removed. And ‘allows’ us the ‘ease’ of ‘now’, for there is nothing else to hold ❤️
    Happy New Year Kristine, may your NOW be fully understood and set you free 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋 🦘

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you, Mark! Poetic words, as always. Happy new year! I hope you are keeping safe in the land Downunder. Have been keeping all my Aussie Blogger friends in my good thoughts and prayers.

      1. Thank you kind lady, your blessings gratefully received. It has been a wild ride this summer with the fires combined with the drought that have been causing quite a bit of loss.
        Just throw us a little energy for some rain, that will fix them all. Mind you, it is a land of fire and flooding rains so be gentle with the power of your heart, we may need kayaks before the summer is over 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋 🦘

  14. etod62 says:

    I love this line: It seems those wee hours are just about the only magical time the cacophony of the world’s collective thoughts and voices stills for me.

    I wish you NOW. It’s what we all should seek. Lovely prose!

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you! Kind words and I’ll take them😀. Happy New Year!

  15. mydangblog says:

    I like Now, but I think mine for this year will be Breathe–sometimes I forget to sit back and enjoy life, and I need to just breathe it all in:-)

    1. candidkay says:

      That’s a great word! I recently started doing yoga Nidra and with it, alternate nostril breathing. It is amazing what that can do to calm you down. I had no idea.

  16. Librarylady says:

    Your post brings back memories – “my mother used to say, put down the book. Go out and play!” Well the Library Lady is a big girl now and books are still a big part of my life, now mom gets it. I love your theme – I try to be in the moment, but it doesn’t hurt to be reminded once in awhile.

    1. candidkay says:

      Your mom sounds like my dad :-). He always wanted me to get out and run around. And while I did that, I came into this world wired to absorb the written word. He was not a big book reader.

  17. Roy McCarthy says:

    Yes, ‘Now’ works for me. But it can only work when you’ve got to a certain point in life where you no longer want, or need, to look forward – to the next holiday, to promotion at work, to the weekend, whatever. ‘Now’ needs to be enough in itself.

    1. candidkay says:

      Amen. I think I’ve come along way in my Zen factor and yet, this will still be a challenge this year :-).

  18. What a fantastic word: Now. Yes, we actually exist in a series of now moments, much like the stills of a filmstrip, but our brain makes us perceive time as linear. I practice bringing myself into the present moment when I’m overwhelmed or worried. In fact, the name I chose as the address of my other WP blog is “my peace now” all pushed together. Have a great year filled with clarity!

    1. candidkay says:

      Oh, that whole time thing. Still reading quantum physics and it’s still mind-boggling. Here’s to getting into the wave in 2020 . . .

  19. Dale says:

    Hey there Kristine. I think Now is a perfect word. You said it: “If I’m worrying about tomorrow’s deadline, I’ve lost today. If I’m regretting yesterday’s decision, I’ve given up my peace right now.”
    There’s a reason clichés work. They are true. “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present”.
    We are like-minded, my friend (as you noticed in my own year-end post).
    As for me? I don’t usually choose a word to define my year. I may have to make an exception… Focus shall be mine.

    1. candidkay says:

      Well, if it’s “focus,” then you’re already on your way, my friend. Because I think you showed quite a bit of that–not to mention pluck and perseverance–in 2019! XXOO

      1. Dale says:

        Ummm. No, not really. I basically “winged” it!!!

      2. candidkay says:

        I don’t see it that way at all! You listened to your gut. And it felt scary, because you were listening to whispers from the Universe instead of your head:).

      3. Dale says:

        Maybe… I’ll take it 😉
        And it’s funny… I was gonna chose Purpose as my word and Focus came out instead – what up with that?

  20. Happy New Year Kristine. I love your choice. Mine is grace which is similar for me. It reminds me to be open to the moment and the grace of life spirit moving through me.

    1. candidkay says:

      Grace was my word a few years ago! I love that. And it was a powerful year. Wishing you that and more in 2020 . . .

    2. pirootb says:

      Wish you a happy new year. May you always be immersed in your Now. Do not let “then” from the past or “when” from the future distract you.

      1. candidkay says:

        Thank you! Wonderful wish. I will be sure to look out for those sneaky “thens” and “whens.” Happy New Year!

  21. Now seems perfect. It has a two-way aspect. 1. Describes when things should be done by the person. 2. Describes when the person should have things done for them. Well-chosen, Kay.

    1. candidkay says:

      What an interesting take on it, John. I like that:). Wishing you a very happy new year!

  22. modestly says:

    Now is all there is. That’s why when its tough, its very tough. I was considering this earlier today Kay – I am trying to ride out a depressive episode without too much fall out. Now is all we have.

    1. candidkay says:

      Oh, I’m so sorry. Now is tough when you’re in the throes of depression. I’m so sorry. And I know the only way through it is through it, so I am sending you godspeed to get to the other side of this one.

      1. modestly says:

        Thanks Kay – I am pulling out! it feels a bit like I am one of those Dr Dolittle animals, the ‘push me, pullme ‘ one – I keep emerging into the light only to get pulled back under. Lots of stresses currently. Hugs to you too.

      2. candidkay says:

        I hope that stress magically melts away. Wouldn’t that be nice?

      3. modestly says:

        wouldn’t it! being human, that ain’t going to happen! Sons and husband1

  23. Hi Kay. On a personal level, Now is a good choice and pursuit. For humanity, Peace would be my selection. Bye till next time.

    Neil Scheinin

    1. candidkay says:

      Happy New Year, Neil! From your lips to God’s ears. Peace sorely needed.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this post. Drop me a line.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s