My father used to fret about my penchant for books, for quiet, for solitude. On many occasions, as I lay in my bed, I heard my mother tell him yet again, “Still waters run deep.”
How many times as a young Catholic schoolgirl I heard the priest from the pulpit: “Be still and know that I am God.”
And now, an affirmation I use often: “In the stillness, I receive.”
I do. Receive, that is, in the stillness. Left to my own devices, I’d stay up reading, writing and musing until the wee hours of the morning. Then I’d sleep in the next day and start all over again. It seems those wee hours are just about the only magical time the cacophony of the world’s collective thoughts and voices stills for me. I feel you all loudly throughout the day. It’s hard to turn it off sometimes and be with what the stillness has to share. But at 2 a.m., there it is. Blessed silence and the slumber of busy minds.
I choose a word each year as a theme of sorts. One year, my word was “allow.” Another year, “ease.” For 2020, I’m waiting for the stillness to talk to me. What keeps coming through is “Now.” With a capital N. As in, this very moment. A far more poetic way to say it, don’t you think?
As in, all we have is this very moment. No other. If I’m worrying about tomorrow’s deadline, I’ve lost today. If I’m regretting yesterday’s decision, I’ve given up my peace right now.
With so many words to choose, this seems an obvious one. A bit pedestrian. The poet in me doesn’t like that. But I somehow feel the power of 2020, for me, is going to come in the moment. In bringing the full presence of my soul to wherever I am, whoever I am with, whatever I am doing. To stop my active mind from racing around, wasting time anywhere but where I am at this very moment.
Perhaps another way to say this is “presence.” But “this very moment” reminds me where I am and what to attend to. I’ll let my poet’s soul and the dictation of the Universe duke it out in the stillness. No matter which wins out, it means the same.
Here. Now. 100%.
Happy New Year, friends. Please let me know if you choose a word for the year—and why it means something to you. I love being inspired by all of you. Thanks for continuing this journey with me.