My pipe dream today? Showering solo

Yellow, orange and green rubber duck in a wineglassMy shower was a bit cramped this morning.

It didn’t start out that way but by the time I was finished, the trail of people stepping out with me resembled a clown car parade.

As the hot water ran deliciously down my back, I luxuriated in the quiet, the peace.

And then it began.

First, a couple of new colleagues appeared. They wanted to berate me for not having made enough progress toward my deadline tomorrow. For writing a far too lengthy intro to a soon-to-be-published piece. For not being as smart as them. Gosh, they were loud. And nagging. Lots of nagging. I moved over a bit and tried to ignore them.

Then, my neighbor appeared. She wanted to discuss some school issues her son was having, hoping I could shed some light as the mother of older boys. She was lovely but the guilt she induced at my lack of early AM attention span was surprising.

I rubbed the shampoo in and hoped the three of them would take care of introductions and talk amongst themselves, leaving me in peace. No such luck.

Then my parents showed up—which made things really weird. They wanted to point out that I was working too much and not getting proper sleep. And then they disagreed on which was the bigger issue, so the back-and-forth got really loud.

As I fled the shower, leaving this cacophonous quintet to their lathering, I heaved a sigh of relief. Calm. Let’s get back to my morning mantra—something about listening only to my own still inner voice.

I could not hear half of what my son told me over breakfast because my work colleagues had followed me downstairs and were harping about the data in my piece. My editor had joined them, asking why I had not begun the business feature due early next month. Multiple sources, plenty to chew on—didn’t I want more time to dig in on this one? Chop chop.

On the way to school, I barely heard the conversation of the three boys in the backseat. My doctor had plopped herself next to me to ask why my mammogram order was now several months old and unused. Did I not know the statistics for women in my age group? And why was I not doing that monthly self-exam, despite having two friends touched by abnormalities or cancer in the past year?

By the time I exited the car to begin my work day in earnest, I was exhausted from all of the chatter.

And right there, silly friends, is the problem. The chatter. The monkey mind. The one I observe, supposedly with compassion, when I meditate.

I had a couple of off days in which meditation was not fitting into my schedule.Do not disturb And so, the “Do not disturb” sign had been removed from my shower, my breakfast table, my carpool, my freakin’ MIND.

Tomorrow it ends. I get my time to plug into the universe. To observe the crazy chatter in my mind and then focus elsewhere. To shower solo.

You with me? And yes, I mean figuratively, not literally. My shower is only so large.

Give yourself some quiet time today, people. It’s a life saver.

Namaste.

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23 Comments Add yours

  1. Kate says:

    ssshhhhh… be berry berry quiet, I’m hunting wabbits and monkies too! I so hear ya. We call it monkey brain at my house but rather in the shower, my monkeys bounce on my bed and wake me at 2AM….. sigh….. I hope you do have a HAPPY and RESTED Monkey free Mother’s Day!

    1. candidkay says:

      Wishing you the same! And put those monkeys in the rainforest, where they belong:).

  2. P.S. Love the pic of the duckies!

  3. Funny with a great message! At first I was wondering why all of these people were in your house with you 🙂 so hard to turn off the voices but SO important!!

  4. My voices always visit me at night while I am trying to get to sleep. Learning meditation is on my To Do list.

  5. I thought I was the only one who have a litany of people in their head at any given time. I guess its human. Awareness is power. If we know we’re doing it, we can take charge and kick them out… at least for the moment.

  6. Mine visit me at night when I am trying to get to sleep.

  7. markbialczak says:

    Peace be with you, Kay.

  8. Willow-Marie says:

    Here! Here Kay. Who doesn’t want their own piece of heaven?

  9. I was laughing right along as I read this post! I was thinking this same thing yesterday morning as I was showering and my 6 year old son was pounding on the door, trying to tell me something that couldn’t wait until I got out. so mine was literal but I understand the need of quiet. Time to take a break from all that comes at us and just rest in the solitude that quiet brings. I was hoping to lay out in my hammock this weekend but dog gone it… it’s still 32 degrees here. So that isn’t happening! Praying we both get some solitude this weekend! Take care! And thanks for these words of encouragement!

  10. Elissaveta says:

    This is both funny and sadly true. We are never alone, our brain wouldn’t let us. I have recently been thinking of signing up for yoga or meditation. It is a true art and a skill to learn to hush those voices down.

  11. So true. This does happen.

  12. Inese Poga Art Gallery says:

    Seems to be very stressful. Thankfully, I have no such issues. Well, it’s hard to avoid all of this, but still there are ways to keep yourself calm and relaxed.

  13. I have never been a good meditator, though I’ve tried. But boy did my monkey mind act up yesterday as I went into the induction phase of a hypnosis session. I had to tell it to shut up, chill, out, relax, and trust the process. (It had been almost a year since my last session). Thankfully, before too long, it quieted down and receded into the background, and let me get down to work. Peace and quiet to you.

  14. Inkplume says:

    My clowns crowd the car on my drive to work too. I’m so busy dealing with them that I get there without remembering any part of the drive. Have to read The Power of Now again…

    1. candidkay says:

      I’ve not yet read it but it’s on my list!

  15. Pass the shampoo will you please Kay! 😀

  16. Amy says:

    This essay is not only spot on, it’s brilliant! Turning off inner chatter can be a daily challenge.

    As I drift toward awareness some mornings, my mind will start in on what’s worrying me, and before I know it, my jaw is clenched and my brow is furrowed. That’s just no way to wake up!

    For a while now, I’ve been making a concerted effort to notice whether my first thoughts are translating into facial or bodily tension. If they are, I begin a systematic release of tension in every muscle group, beginning with my brows, my eyelids, my jaw, and so on – just as I was taught in Lamaze class decades ago. I’ve noticed that when I focus on releasing tension in my face, my worried thoughts also scatter. I do believe I’m on to something!

    Wishing you oceans of quiet time, my friend, and peace in every step. xoxo

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you:). I will have to try your method!

  17. Oh Namaste Kay, I hear you! I hear all those voices you hear too, which is why sometimes I can’t bear to switch on the radio or listen to the news – it’s already busy enough on the internal airwaves. Monday night meditation classes are my salvation. Wishing you joy and peace with yours

    1. candidkay says:

      I’m the same. No need to fill our heads with news of the awful and add to the noise:).

  18. blubrandi0 says:

    I absolutely hear you. The past few days I’ve been seeking my Higher Self in meditation a few minutes before bed so I could ask what the lesson for the next day will be. Today’s lesson was dropping judgment and quitting the mind chatter; being open to Guidance and actually stopping to listen to it. The only problem with me is that it’s not other people’s voices and criticism, it’s my own.

    I didn’t do as well today’s lesson as I did with yesterday’s (patience). But, tomorrow will be a new day and a new lesson. Namaste.

    1. candidkay says:

      It’s all our own voice, really, isn’t it? We just put different faces on it:). Wishing you a joy-filled lesson tomorrow.

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