Dashing for Dash buttons

Cue the angel chorus. I just discovered Dash buttons.

You’ve not heard of them? Are you kidding me? Despite the fact that I just seconds ago became one of the Enlightened Ones, I hereby proclaim you so very Yesterday.Smart water

Get with it, Bubbie.

Dash buttons can be placed around your home, near or on items you use frequently. Push the Dash button you’ve placed on your coffeemaker when you are close to running out of coffee and Amazon will send you coffee. Ditto with your laundry detergent, soft drinks, etc. Be judicious; each button costs you US$5 to order.

Where were Dash buttons when my kids were young? At 3 a.m., when I realize I’m using one of the last disposable diapers. During play group, when Horrible Little Harry again got into my snack drawer and devoured all the fruit bits while his mother was busy ignoring him.

I’m picturing the possibilities for expansion.

Chrome Robotic Claw with Gift Box on a white background
Brand new boyfriend? Trainer? Neighbor?

A Dash button for the harried young parents whose child has been banned from yet another play group (shades of Horrible Little Harry). With a simple push of the Dash, Supernanny is flown in via drone and lands at the doorstep just in time to prevent another dinnertime meltdown. Better yet, how about a hot manny with a fetching Australian accent?

A Dash we can place on our teen’s forehead when yet another complex math problem stumps the entire family. Click the button and order up your very own Stanford or MIT math tutor, replete with a glowing recommendation for your pubescent angel as he applies for the class of 2022. Perhaps go to the root of the problem and replace the math teacher via Dash button with a model that makes house calls.

We could really get into this, couldn’t we? A Dash button to replace the personal trainer who becomes a bit grating over time. The boyfriend who forgets anniversaries. The neighbor who likes to mow the lawn at 6 a.m.

I’m picturing a large, Big Brotherish mechanical claw, similar to the arcade game model, descending from the sky and plucking unassuming types from their daily habitat at will. Drones zooming from house to house, school to school, office to office, delivering a bevy of replacement people and goods.

It gives an entirely new definition to “mad dash.”




12 Comments Add yours

  1. Whoa this is clever funny take on dash buttons, which I never knew existed.

    It is actually scary to find that things can be replaced so easily isn’t it?

  2. Aunt Beulah says:

    I had so much fun reading this, Kay. It’s one of those clever writing ideas, well executed, that I wish I had thought of myself.

    1. candidkay says:

      Why, thank you:). Funny how the ideas just pop into our heads sometimes. No rhyme or reason to it.

  3. markbialczak says:

    And no longer do women go for men who are “dashing,” right, Kay? 😉

    1. candidkay says:

      Well now, Mark, that depends:). That’s a convo that I’m sure requires beer or wine!

      1. markbialczak says:

        Yes, I’ll agree to that, Kay.

  4. Anything to help with my failing memory would be wonderful Kay! Beam me up one. 🙂

  5. So Kay, my fantasy date with Sandra Bullock gets closer and closer 😀

    1. candidkay says:

      Haven’t seen that button yet but I’m sure it’s in prototype:).

  6. I am so amused by being so yesterday! Lol
    Those are my thoughts of the Big Brother & The Claw!! Drones kind of freak me out. I mean I still hear Obi On saying, “these are not the droids you are looking for.” So this whole new world freaks me out!
    I want to go home & cassette record the top 100 with Casey under my blanket… With my adult beverage please!

    1. candidkay says:

      I hear you on the drones:). I just read they’re going to put some regulation around them because of so many near misses with aircraft. Crazy . . . very Jetson-like!

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