Slam. Stomp, stomp, stomp. Clap clap. “Hellooooo all!” And I make my entrance.
That’s a lot of hullaballoo for an entrance into my own family room, right? But we’ve entered the teenaged years. The teenaged-with–girlfriend years. Oy.
I find myself going up and down my stairs enough for it to qualify as aerobic activity. As I politely give my son and his girlfriend some couch time alone in front of the television, my mommy timer sets itself. In 10 minutes, I “realize” I’ve forgotten my book downstairs.
Clomp, clomp. Ahem. Cough, cough. Clomp, clomp, clomp. I have become the Queen of Onomatopoeia in my own house. “Oh look, HERE it is. My book. I’ll just take this back upstairs,” I say cheerily.
In another 15 or so, I find I am deathly thirsty. Clomp, clomp. Ahem. Cough. Yell for dog. “I’m just PARCHED. Would anyone else like some tea?” No takers. I head back upstairs with my teacup, which gives me an excuse to return shortly thereafter to put it in the dishwasher.
It seems not so long ago I was on the other side of the equation. Nothing ages you like realizing your stair stomping sounds much like your mother’s did.
I guess it’s just a new phase of life for me to get used to, just like I did with teething, toddlers and tantrums. Only this phase seems painfully short (short overall—but the evenings themselves can seem to last forEVER). My eldest will head to college in the fall, where I won’t be around to interrupt any couch canoodling. I think I’ll save worrying about that for another time and place.
As always, I welcome any and all advice from the seasoned parenting veterans out there. You lived through it, so I guess I will.
But in the meantime, I must sign off.
It’s far too quiet downstairs.
candidkay 
LOL I remember those days, I have 3 boys one thing I always did was be open about everything with them, sex, drugs and the rest. 🙂
Smart move! They have that kid radar that tells them when we’re being straight with them and when we’re not:).
Keep interrupting them, it shows you care! It worked for me 💕💚
Here’s hoping I meet with the same success:)!
You’re smart to keep a “casual” eye on things. But I guess that’s all you can do. I’m glad I walked the line between actually sitting between my sons and their girlfriends, and leaving them alone for hours. Sounds like you’re walking that line fine too.
Sitting in between them…. I hadn’t thought of that one :-). Just kidding. I will continue to try to walk that fine line.
I can offer no advice, Kay, only my best wishes. I never raised teenagers. When I married my second husband who had three grown children and a newborn granddaughter, he told me I’d have fun being a grandmother and that I’d skipped right over the hard part — raising children. He was right. Good luck!
Oh, you certainly did skip over the hard part-you lucky duck 🦆:). My eldest is giving me white hair faster than I can fathom. But, I love both my sons dearly and I guess I wouldn’t miss this craziness for the world.
I always talked about subjects like sex when my three were 13, 11 and 9. I mean pets have babies, dogs and rabbits “hump” so may as well talk. . . My Mom was a high school teacher and cracked me up. She called neighbors to tell them we 3 kids were going to learn the difference between sanitary napkin and table napkins. Then, on the sidewalk we saw 69, we wondered what this meant since we lived in a brand new neighborhood where these #s were on cement foundations.
Again, she had neighbors called, who sent their kids over for a rather graphic description (including banana) she assured me this was why my brothers and I didn’t reach third base until college, K! Lol. She said everyone in the room looked horrified, sisters looked at brothers and said, “Gross!” Life is best with as much info as possible. My daughter waited until 20, my son till 19 and youngest daughter was 22 when no longer a virgin.
My Dad told us all 3, I told my own 3: Boys and girls can take showers, masturbate and never “buy” a guy’s line about “blue balls.” We were raised by a NASA nuclear engineer and high school teacher.
My son told me boys in middle school are starting to get and give oral sex. I talked while back to school shopping with my beautiful 13 year old granddaughter. She told me, “Some of the girls do more!” 😦 This is a university town and not inner city either. Hmmm.
Wow. That is quite a story!
It is the wild truth we lived through, Kristine. So many stories with this as just the tip of the iceberg. It may need a PG-13 rating. . .
Smiles, Robin
My wife told our kids that she wanted them to wait until they got out of high school. They actually listened to her. Did find my daughter horizontal on her bed with her boyfriend one evening. I cleared my throat to alert them to my presence, but they remained interlocked (while clothed). I gave them the following instructions: “When I walk in the door, act surprised, separate, and then pretend to be apologetic.”
Oh, I have to laugh at what you told them:). Did it work?!
Ah yes – teenagers – yikes – I was so direct and up front with both my kids – especially my daughter – they were pretty direct coming back to me – they still remember these conversations – of course we had fun too – I was so worried about just about everything concerning them – as always thanks for your terrific post –
Direct works! When we try to be subtle, they see right through us anyway :-).
Kay, you just need to be at peace with the lessons that you’ve instilled in him over the years. Knowing that your love will infuse and inform him of the proper bends in the path.
Speaking as 3 year college Dad.
Ah. The voice of experience! Love hearing From the other side. It’s a reassurance that we’ll get there :-).
Delightful post. Ah, the teenage years….
I wish I could always say the teenage years were delightful also :-).
We have four grown kids in their twenties, three who have graduated college. The fourth has also grown to be a wonderful young man. And the fifth is only eleven. No grand kids as of yet. All of the kids feel they can talk to me about just about anything. (At least, this is what they tell me and I believe)
I think talking with them often, not just talking to them, but with them, is big. And I try to be as real as possible. My philosophy is that they should feel like you are their coach and trusted friend in their corner, always on their side. I try to make sure that the talks include all the beauty and possible pitfalls I feel like the more they can talk to me and not be judged, the more they will. I try to share in a way that includes more of what I have learned than just what is right and wrong. After that, I just hope for and expect the best, keeping an open dialogue as much as possible. Oh yeah, and I meditate and pray often.
They all say that can talk to me and share things with me. And they do. They also say that there are many things they can’t share with their mom because she will freak out. I believe that them sharing so much with me gives me a chance to sneak in my advice in a way that they see as somewhat cool. So far, so good. We still have one more to go.
Oh, that sounds like a really wise approach. I try to do similar with my eldest. He talks to me about a lot of things that he won’t talk to his father about. And I try not to take the approach my parents did which was preaching from on high-we are the adults, you are the child. I love your idea of acting as a coach. I think especially in today’s world, most of them need an accepting, listening ear. And just a few well chosen words of advice.
Hello Kristine. I kind of thought that you may have that same approach. I also forgot to mention that I love your blog and your writing style. I felt like I was right there in the house. I could picture the whole thing with you going up and down the stairs and the kids on the couch as I was reading.
Peace and Blessings
Thank you, Craig! That’s one of the nicest things you can say to a writer :-). Made my day. I’m so glad you’re along with me for the ride!
If it wasn’t so painful I’d laugh right along with you Kristine. Ok, I am laughing, it is sooo funny, especially the comment on remembering your mom doing it to you 😀
I got around all that, we gave our daughter the birds and the bee’s with all the rubbish bits thrown in the bin, explained that those first rosy times are very emotional and are a great thing to remember as years go by, but can lead to many promises broken, especially after the guy gets what he wants, handed her a condom and said…use your head and your brain, if he is really interested he will still be there after you say no.
I was later told (much later, after one of those lovely mother daughter things), that her first time wasn’t until she was nineteen and was very thankful to us simply because of the hurt and pain she has seen all her friends go through.
We must have done something right. I think it was instead of saying no it put the onus back on them to treat themselves with respect, and us for giving them that trust.
We tried to do the same with our son…he laughed and said…loooong gone dad, but thanks for the condom 😀
Oh well, one out of two ain’t bad 😀
Always easier in hindsight, right?! Sounds like you treated them with respect and it worked. I am not puritanical enough to tell them what my mother told me-that I should wait until marriage-but I do tell him often that being with someone in that way you’re so much better when there is mutual love, respect and maturity. I do think at least a portion of my words sink in. But I realize he may not know the full impact of them until he is a bit older :-).
True. And I admit my daughter was very grown up for her age. Those young ones take our wisdom in many different ways, but all we can do is express it how we can and then let nature take her course. They have their own journey to make and those early steps will go where they need to, we just need to take a deep breath and support how we can 😀
Mind you, there are always lessons for us all 😀
Ha ha, yes, you’ll live through this phase.
But how much white hair will I earn, Ruth?! 🙂
I know exactly what you mean! I used to have to walk loudly, continually ask teenager if they would like a glass of water or a snack, or do anything else to make my presence known every so often. Good luck, and thanks for the post about this!
I’m running out of downstairs errands. So if you have a good fallback list, do share :-).