Get out of my freakin’ way

English: Detour ahead - 50 m
English: Detour ahead – 50 m (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

That means you. Yes, you.

And by you, I mean me. I’m talking to myself.

Not my whole self, just the whiny, mewling bit that has rigid ideas about its future. What she’s planned. What she’s worked for. What she deserves—with a capital D.

I’m betting you have this alter ego also. You know, the one that stays in the same job forever, bemoaning the fact that you’re not given the promotion that was YOURS. The one that stays in a miserable relationship because your life plans did not include divorce (Really? Whose does?) The one that snipes behind the go-getter’s back which is really nothing more than pure, green, ugly envy.

I’m guilty of the second charge. The other two I’ve seen in friends and acquaintances. We all have our own flavor in this scenario. None of it pretty.

I recently met a very accomplished woman. An author, psychologist and seeker, she bemoaned the fact that her books hadn’t experienced the commercial success for which she had hoped. That despite a few media hits, sales weren’t stellar. My immediate reaction was to tell her that’s what any of us authors want. We all want to reach millions. But, we aren’t all intended to reach millions. Some of us might impact a few thousand people with our words. Others a handful. It’s not for us to know how big our mission is. It’s just for us to fulfill it. Instead of seeing how many she’d helped, she bemoaned the perceived failure of her personal goal. She was missing the point.

We are so arrogant, really. To think we can control the flow of this mystical thing called life. Life happens. We can control our reaction—and maybe a bit of the path—but the big events are bound to happen regardless of what we want.

Shit happens. And when it does, we seem to cling to the familiar with a death grip. Thinking if we can just tighten the reins, we’ll ride out whatever has hit us. Unemployment, relationship issues, parenting woes.

What our less than wise alter ego does not see is that when life tells us to step aside, to get out of its freakin’ way—we should do so. And fast.

Because what it is bringing is a bigger dream than we could ever imagine. It may not be what our small human minds envisioned, but it is right. With a capital R.

No, I’m not Pollyanna. Yes, usually a lot more muck is on its way before that dream appears. When you have resisted change for too long, change happens with a vengeance. But, if you can wade through that muck, surrender and accept what is (rather than holding on to what has been), a better situation emerges. Better even if only because it’s real. It’s palpable. And by surrendering, it’s molding you in whatever way is necessary.

Let yourself be sculpted by life. I am. It’s not always pretty but sometimes, when I get out of my own freakin’ way, it’s freakin’ beautiful. Some of you are wise enough to know the difference.


7 Comments Add yours

  1. lauzlau says:

    So glad there were no road blocks to me finding your blog. I’ve enjoyed your insightful posts and will be back for more freakin’ awesome inspiration.

    1. candidkay says:

      I better fuel up then:) Freakin’ awesome is easier some days than others!

  2. Spot on. I’m also guilty of crime #2, and since I belted through that road block I have never been happier. It hasn’t always been easy, but it always seems to turn out how it should (in retrospect). Things happen for a reason, and it’s not always easy to see it at first glance. But time makes us wiser!

  3. ksawrites says:

    Love it. We create a lot of unnecessary roadblocks in our own lives, don’t we? Time to mow ’em down like a pack of zombies. 🙂

    1. candidkay says:

      Now I KNOW you’re a mom of boys:). Anyone who can throw a zombie reference around with that much skill has little men in the house!

  4. suemclaren24 says:

    There is a similar (short) chapter in Finding The Tiger (p.132) titled “Change” with a photograph of detour (and other) signs, and the caption “Signs for Change. You just have to see them.”
    Your blog entry is a gem on multiple levels. Thank you!

    1. candidkay says:

      Thank you for the kind words and the book rec. I’m not familiar with Finding the Tiger but will have to search it out.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this post. Drop me a line.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s